Wind In My Head: Taking Stock
Wind In My Head
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
Taking Stock
I've been slowly moving my old posts from about 3 years ago onto this blog. Then it was geocities and I set it up from scratch. Then I was in Melbourne. So, I'm feeling kinda blue now having read some of the old stuff. It really was a different life and we really were unaware of what we were going to be in for coming back to Singapore.Somethings that I talked about then that have actually happened-
1. I have lost some weight
2. I am indeed a teacher now
3. I've got married
4. The bubble tea bubble has burst and right now, I'm really craving for some
Sonethings that I talked about then that haven't actually happened-
1. I don't live on $4.96- but I am still perpetually broke.
2. I haven't signed up to do my PhD.
3. We haven't moved back to Melbourne despite the this isn't permanent mantra
So, all in all, this trip down memory lane has made me sad because we were so full of hope then, of not leaving Melbourne for good, about going back and we're still stuck here. We have not much of a choice seeing that we're still pretty much bonded but I wish we'd done more to get ourselves headed in that general direction. It also depresses me that I haven't actually started doing my PhD. I still maintain that the longer I stay away from it and the longer I put it off, the much less likely I'm going to ever do it and that in itself scares me.
Life here really isn't all that bad and I think that's the big danger that we might end up being weighed down by inertia. It's easy. We've got our home, a car, our lives, friends and family- it's easy to just be contented. And I'm ashamed to say that I've fallen into that trap. No doubt, we complain and we bitch about how stupid, inconsiderate, unfeeling people are here and how stressful, expensive, controlled, choiceless life is here, but we're still happy and living it out. In itself, there's nothing wrong with that, because if we weren't happy and we were seriously bitching and complaining and making life for ourselves and people around us miserable, then we'd have turned into the people we really dislike. But then again, these old posts remind me of how much fervour and passion we had about things, how much we cared for and loved life and it feels like that's dimmed with all the busy living we've had to do here.
So I guess, that's why people have things like that lying around, to remind them, to give them a jolt back into "reality"- that there were things out there we swore to do and we should do. So, we should really get off our asses and do them.
Ondine tossed this thought in at 17:51
1 thoughts...
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At 5:07 pm
Strife said... I remember reading a saying that went:
"May all your dreams come true but one."
Just being contented isn't that bad.. far better than being caught in the mad rush of the next bigger house, bigger car, bigger whatever.