Saturday, December 08, 2001

Will you Marry Me?

One of my closest friends just got proposed to last night. I'm very very thrilled for her. I think we're getting to an age where this is the next big news. After we all get married, the next big phone call you wait for and comes in probably at 1 in the morning would be one, hopefully, announcing someone is pregnant, legitimately that is..:) well.. you can never be too sure.

It is a sign that we're getting old. I still remember the first day of JC when I met Cat. We cliqued because we didn't think too highly of the orientation games that we were made to play. The solidarity as we were part of the Humanities class and like fish out of water we floundered, together. We didn't read Chekov and we didn't listen to baroque music; we liked shopping, Evita Peroni scrunchies and hair bands, so we hung out, mostly at Parkway Parade (it's a mall near our college).

Yeah, we've come a long way since then, but we've seen each other through lots of things. I've made "Vote for Cat" Council stickers for her and she's helped me pack for my coming here (I am ridiculously bad at packing and she's a whiz). We've also incurred some big phone bills but it's been worth it. Sometimes, when a friend goes away, you end up losing touch, but I think because I was away, we made a bigger effort to stay in touch, so I think we got even closer even when we were in different continents. Anyway, I'm totally totally thrilled for her. If anyone in the world deserves to be happy, it's her. The only thing I have to lament is that I can't have her as a bridesmaid when I get married. Oh well... we can't all have our druthers.

Relationships are such a scary thing nowadays. There's so little innocence left in it; it's been replaced by a whole barrel of cynicism. I see friends, all trying to find happiness and that right person and when they fail, they become so disenchanted.The irony in that, however is that because they are so disenchanted and cynical, at the first sign of any sort of happiness with the next person they meet, they dive in, only to find out after the inital buzz that there was nothing there to begin with. Then they become bitter again and the whole cycle repeats itself. These friends have often asked how best to get themselves out of the rut they are in, and I have never been able to say more than to go slow and to figure out beforehand what it is one is looking for within a relationship. And I think we all fall into one of th two categories, subconsciously. There are those who look for and want the type of relationship that their parents have and there are those who steer clear of their parents' example. So, I guess it really depends.

What I've learnt is that the work that goes into a relationship never ends. Whether you're just beginning a relationship or have been in it for ages, it still takes work. I know I haven't been through all there is to go through, far from it... but I've learnt that the concept of committment isn't a one time deal. It's something you keep revisiting and re-dedicating yourself to. I've seen with my brother and sister in law, they've known each other for 15 years and I see that even now, after 2 kids, there are still kinks but the point is that they work it out. I guess that's what counts. There is no such thing as Mr/Ms Perfect out there, only what we make them out to be.

I don't think I've got all of it figured ,but who has?

Ondine tossed this thought in at 08:32

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" Far in the stillness, a cat languishes loudly"