Sunday, February 11, 2007

Splat!

When I was on my way home one night, I bumped into an irate neighbour with his nephew complaining rather furiously that the little kid got egged. I didn't really know what he meant till I saw the little kid dripping in what looked like raw egg. It was about 10 at night and he was lamenting that the poor kid needed another bath.

I wondered what kind of idiot would egg a small child.

Fast forward to a couple of months later.

I was coming home from work in the afternoon and I heard some rather boisterous kids yelling at the playground. And then all of a sudden, there was a rather loud explosion type sound right beside me that made me jump out of my skin. Beside me was a detonated can drink that was bleeding fizz out of a flattened can. That was followed by loud, raucous laughter and when I looked up, I saw the perpetrators guffawing and pointing. Very quickly counting the number of floors, I decided to go up and confront them in my don't fuck with me teacher persona. Problem is by the time I got there, there was just the incriminating evidence of other yet to be detonated can drinks with no kid in sight.

Fast forward some more.

Along the walkway out to the main road, I've seen tomatoes splattered on the sidewalk and egg shells. It's made me rather paranoid walking there for the fear that I might get pelted like the poor little kid who got egged. I always wondered what parent would let their child get away with pelting people with food. It's not a medieval concert and it's just plain dangerous. Not to expensive that eggs aren't exactly the cheapest food around to waste. Just they wait till the next egg shortage.

Anyway, I recently managed to get evidence of the egging and it looked quite fresh.

egged again egged

This was in the mid morning. So my deduction skills lead me to conclude that it's either a kid who's not yet in school (which I quickly ruled out because a kid that young wouldn't be able to look out the verandah to toss the eggs properly unless he stood on a stool which would attract attention from his care givers), a kid in the afternoon session, a kid who was not in school that day or worse an adult who thinks pelting people with eggs is a great way to pass the morning. My suspicion is that it's the kid in the afternoon session.

Now, if I were his mother, I would dock his allowance everytime he took an egg/tomato/ vegetable whatever. I would also be extremely worried of anyone furiously banging on my door in case it was some extremely pissed off person dripping in egg white and yolk.

I fantasise about how I would yell at the kids if I actually caught them but I have yet to. In my old place, I once chased a kid who was on a bicycle, cornered him and yanked him by the ear, yelling at him for chasing and harrassing a cat. He looked quite terrified by the time I got to him and yelled at him. My response was "good, now you know how the cat feels". Ah, the joy that comes with wielding enough power to scare the beejeezus out of these kid bullies.

Tis a pity I wouldn't be able to even catch a kid who was for some reason crawling away now. How I miss being fit and being able to run 10 km with my eyes or rather my lungs closed!

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Ondine tossed this thought in at 16:12

1 thoughts...

1 thoughts...

At 7:58 pm Blogger night glory said...

aiyoh! how can like that? you should call TNP or Lianhe Wanbao to investigate and get a snazzy hp as a gift. They lurve this kind of stuff.

Hope you are having a wonderful Valentine's night right now! *hugs*

 

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