Wind In My Head: What if?
Wind In My Head
Thursday, April 06, 2006
What if?
The English language is full of chiding for those who are nostalgic and for those who dwell on situations that were not to be. No use, we are told, since they'll never come about anyway. So why dwell on it? I mean, why cry over spilt milk? Why ask what if?But this morning, I've decided to ponder what if.
I've been thinking about it a lot. The decisions that we make, take us on the journeys that we are on. And when you actually stop and think about it and look back, you know exactly, at which point it was that you made that life altering decision. Often those decisions weren't big ones at that point but like that little butterfly in China that fluttered its wings, its effects were far reaching.
How different would our lives be if we made a different decision back then? It needn't have been the wrong decision, just a different one. And the paths are different.
What would have happened if I had not gone to Australia? I talked to my students yesterday about how it had changed my life. It did. Indeed. I found a passion for academia there. I also found the love of my life.
And had I not gone? Would I have discovered the same passion? And would I have fallen in love with someone else? I'm not one that believes in there only being one person for me out there. But at this point I'll never know.
Just like many other things. Each of our lives are filled with bifurcation points. At that point, we choose to go left instead of right and we'll never really know what would have happened if we had walked the other way. I guess it is what Gywnnie was going on about in The Sliding Doors. A different person, a different life.
Sometimes you get a little glimpse of it. If just for a second. And you're floored, by what could have been if you had picked another path in life. Your life doesn't really have to suck for you to sit back and build this doppel life. And you sit back and wonder what if?
To dwell in it, obviously not, since we do live in the real world and live by the decisions we have made. But once in a while, it's nice. To build that castle in the clouds.
Ondine tossed this thought in at 10:39
1 thoughts...
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At 11:24 pm
farkshit said... hey! i wrote an entry on this topic a few weeks ago.. =)
its been really nice reading your blog. =)