Monday, December 31, 2001

New Year's Eve

As we stand on the brink of a new year.... haha... I kept hearing that phrase in church yesterday I thought I'd begin this entry melodramatically. Anyway, it is New Year's Eve and I'm up way too early. I wake up at the slightest sound and this morning, it was the phone ringing. It wasn't even for me.

The new year begins tomorrow and as of now, I have yet to get myself a job. I thought it wasn't going to be too much trouble because this school had written to me asking me if I was available to teach for the next 6 months. So I jumped at it and an interview was arranged for last Friday. When I got there, slightly flustered since we got lost, I was told that I was no longer needed but they had neglected to inform me, but proceeded to interview me, for future purposes. God help me if my future is tied to such an irresponsible, inefficient school.

The other alternative, although unconfirmed would be teach in a primary school. 11 year olds, that's going to be tough... they're so precocious nowadays and to make matters worse, it's in the afternoon session, which means I start school at 12 and finish at 6. There goes the rest of my day, bah! Well, we'll see, plus beggars can't quite be choosers. Daniel's a little more ho-hum about it because it's just in his nature to be. So I'm all frantic and he's cucumber cool. An aside, why are cucumbers cool?

Daniel and I are now official godparents to my neice, Bethany, who also goes by the name Joolies. I shall call her that for years to come, purely because her father, my brother has spent my entire life calling me by another name that has stuck and now, I'm an auntie with that name. :) What that name is.. well, if you want to now, ask me personally.. I'm not putting it here..:). Well, anyway, Joolies looked like an angel in her long white baptismal gown yesterday, except she had drooled all over it. What really cracked everyone up was the fact that her brother Bruce, whilst the pastor had his hand up giving blessing upon the family, saw it fit to give his own blessing to the pastor and put his hand up over the pastor's head. It was quite hard to keep from cracking up. It was supposed to be a solemn time, you see.

Well, apart from that, there hasn't been much going on. I'm probably going to go with a friend to pick up her wedding gown today. So many of my friends are getting married and I'm just starting work. In some ways, I would like to be in that frenzy, but then again, I don't think I'm really ready to be stressed by the whole organising the affair thing. My friend and I decided, it wasn't so much the marriage bit that scared the bejeezus out of us, it was the wedding that was terrifying. And there is such a danger of being swept away by the preparations that you lose sight of what it is really about. It can so easily become about the gown, the suit, the hotel and the flowers, instead of the celebration of the union of two people. My friend also said, she would like to elope instead of having the whole shebang.

Well, I think in all of us, there is that sentiment, to avoid the hoohaa. But as girls, brought up on fairy tales ( hey, even if you played with actionman and GiJoe as a little girl, you still read about Cinderella), we all dreamed about the fairy tale wedding. So there's a connundrum in itself. And I think that's where one can be swept up in the preparations of it. Oh well, I have the advantage of having a super-logic guy who will probably not stand for any of this fairy tale nonsense blurring the true meaning of the day, But then again, like I said earlier, it isn't my turn yet. I shall just stand by and watch how my friends do theirs and learn from it. An aside, we wanted to look up the four seasons hotel page and I wasn't sure of the address. So I hit Unfortunately, that was the web page of a female nudist colony. How funny. Anyway, the real address for the hotel didn't have the "the" in front of the four seasons.

I think I should be off soon. I'm trying to decide whether I should cut my hair today or just lounge around at home and slowly unpack more stuff. I am proud to say that I'm down to 3 boxes and 2 of the boxes don't quite need to be unpacked. They're all notes that are going to be shoved under my desk and left there till I feel the urgent need to look up the meaning of multiple regression or something equally foreign and useless.

So, later now.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 07:21

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Thursday, December 27, 2001

Soft Landing

Okay, it's not that I haven't written since I've left Melbourne. This is my 4th attempt at writing this entry and each time, something unforseen happens when I'm about to upload it and I lose the whole damn thing. So you can imagine how many times I've kicked and sworn at the computer. I'm sure if it had a face, it'd be smirking at me.

Anyway, I'm back, safe and sound in Singapore. The flight back was without incident except for the fact that as the plane thundered down the runway, the finality of my leaving Melbourne overwhelmed me and I cried into Daniel's shirt. We were in the emergency exit seats and had a stewardess sitting facing us in a jump seat. I'm guessing she must be rolling her eyes at yet another person who is afriad of flying, particularly after the Sept 11 thing. Well, this time she was wrong. Yeah, I was alright until that point, much of it due to the fact that GAP in duty free had a big sale and I bought T shirts from there for $10 each.

Whatever it is, I'm back in Singapore and the weather here is not as bad as I expected. Probably due to the fact that it has been raining alot (monsoon season). It's hasn't stopped raining since yesterday afternoon. So, my friend's garden resembles a padi field and the gale force winds made it impossible for me to walk home. I took 30 mins on a stretch that usually takes me 5 minutes. Not funny. Rain in Singapore is different from rain in Melbourne. It's true. Rain in Melbourne is sparse and far in between. It's quite hard to be soaked unless you're riding on a bike :), but here, running a metre from the shelter to the car will get your hair soaked right through.

Being back still seems rather unreal. I can't imagine that I'll be living here for the rest of my life hereon. I can't imagine that I'm not heading off again in February. I can't believe that I can't buy up the whole of Mango's winter collection which is by the way having a sale that starts at 9 tomorrow morning. Daniel says we're going, on his own volition. I neither cajoled nor coerced him, really.

One thing however that makes being here a whole lot more bearable and the one thing I missed the most when I was in Melboure (it IS NOT fishballs) is that I finally get to witness first hand my nephew, Bruce doing funny things. Also, there's his sister, Beth, that is to be my god-daughter come Sunday. For now, Bruce is funnier than his sister because he's 3 and has fuzzy logic. He spells taxi as t-a-- C. That's because ta is (/tare/ this isn't phonetics by the way) and C is well, C. So yeah. It was also very funny when he demanded to have some of the red wine that the rest of us were drinking. So my brother, his father went to the kitchen and filled a wine glass with Ribena and gave it to him. He then proceeded to ask Bruce what it tasted like and was told it tasted like Ribena. Thank goodness he didn't put two and two together or we might have had to give Bruce real wine. However, now, he thinks that red wine tastes like ribena and will get a rude shock when he has his first real glass of wine of takes holy communion port. That will be funny. :)

The gale force wind is on the news now, it's apparently 35 knots and for the first time, flights aren't taking off or landing in Singapore. You can never be too safe I guess. I'm quite sure turbulence must be quite a thing now, and those "put your film in this bag and we'll develop it for you" bags that they have on the plane are much used and it isn't for film.

Anyway, it's time to go clear up my room somemore. I'm still living out of my suitcase and the 400kgs of stuff arrived yesterday so there is more stuff downstairs to be brought up. :)It's going to take quite a while, but my Dad is rather anal, and demands that it be done as soon as possible because he cannot bare to see a bit of anything out of place. He hates stepping into my room because it looks like a landmine went off in it. That's according to him that is, I think it's perfectly fine-but then again, I lived with Dan for the whole year. Hee. :)

Tomorrow, I go for my first interview for a relief teaching job. I don't think it'll be that hard to get, especially now that I've got my transcript to say that I REALLY have a good honours degree. That transcript cost me $20 and it had 2 sentences on it. Dan's one was free and it had 3 pages of results. Bah!

Ok, I'm going to try and upload this now. Let's hope this time it works. Dumb computer. *mutter mutter*

Later now

Ondine tossed this thought in at 20:19

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Saturday, December 22, 2001

Fare Thee Well, Gentle City

We're leaving for the airport in half an hour so this shall be my farewell to Melbourne entry. The next one I shall endeavour to write will be written on a Pentium 1 laptop that doesn't load very well. Oh well, that's symbolic of everything at home anyway.

It's hard to believe that I won't be back in February to start a new term. It doesn't feel too real yet, that I'm not going to come back as a student and going home means the beginning of another life that neither Daniel and I have a clue about.

So, we've been showing it in different ways. Daniel has been wanting to spend all our time with our friends, even till late into the night. On the other hand, I've been just wanting to cuddle up and talk about our life here and reminisce instead of being dog tired and falling asleep the minute my head hits the pillow. But whatever way we choose to show it, the both of us feel the same way, like it's unreal, like our house on Little Palmerston is still waiting for us to go home to, that sort of thing. Daniel summed it up really well, it's not that he's afraid of going home; he's afraid of leaving.

This place has been a haven and a santuary for the both of us. I came here, 3 years ago, badly scarred from a 6 year relationship that ended badly. I still remember the first night here in my room, where I threw myself on the bed and wept, wondering whether it was really that great an idea to have left Singapore and come here to do a brand new degree. It's been a hard three years, I've worked harder here than I ever did in NUS, and sometimes the results weren't proportionate to the effort. But I learnt tons , in uni as well as just walking down the street. Some things are so intrinsic that words fail to describe them. Sufficed to say, my eyes have been opened. I also think I've grown as a person, understood myself abit better, understood the world abit better too and learnt to be a more open and tolerant person. Something I don't think I would have learnt had I got a job and stayed in Singapore after graduating there in 1998.

I will always remember this place, for all its memories, good and bad, for the bad ones were lessons to be learnt and to grow from. The first time I got a C on a paper (I learnt that I had no clue how to write a scientific paper), the first time I got fined by a tram inspector ( I learnt that tram inspectors were scummy people and I disliked them on sight, they have a yucky aura that radiates around them), the first time I got yelled at so badly in ballet class I cried ( I learnt that there were nicer ballet teachers around and I should switch schools) will be remembered along with falling in love with Daniel, the first H1 I got, the first time I spoke infront of academia and was praised and going home with a first class honours in psychology. So yeah, a great many things.

I'll miss this place and I'll miss my friends, I suspect I'll even miss those looooong drives to Clayton (where uni was), I'll even miss the bright green leaves on the trees and that tree that is entirely purple cos of its flowers. You can tell I'm being nostalgic now.

It's almost as if I want to write down every single thing I can think of now, as fast as the images and thoughts come to mind so that I will never forget them and they would be recorded in print. But even my quick touch typing skills fail me as the thoughts are coming too fast and thick.

I'll stop here because my half an hour is almost up and I should do a final check to make sure every single thing is packed. Plus no matter how hard I try, I will never do justice to any of the things I want to say, so I won't.

Well, I'll write when I get settled in Singapore. We're hoping we get upgraded on the flight but chances are we won't. There's this thing call CB luck that follows us around. We've got rid of it with regards to parking, but flying, not yet.

So later and Good bye Melbourne, it's been good knowing you.


Ondine tossed this thought in at 13:18

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Thursday, December 20, 2001


We have finally moved out of the house after days and days of arduous packing. I wish I could say I was nostalgic and sad, which I should be since I love the house and it's the best place on earth, but recent events with the buyer has made me want to leave as soon as possible so that I am as far and as uncontactable as possible. Does that make sense?

Well, anyway, she is a total bitca, if I've ever known one. The amount of crap she gives us about every conceivable thing under the sun is just too amazing for me to comprehend. How does one person have so much crap to dispense. The details of it are too complicated, so I shall try to sum it up.

Our lawyer here is a placid middle aged lady who has been given so much crap by the buyer that against her responsibility to be impartial, she told us that it would be much better for her to sell the house to someone else. That's how bad she is. I pity the lawyer and my brother for having to deal with her. I now have had a taste of what that is like and I hate her more and more, especially for having subjected my poor brother to that.

So, we've moved out to our friend, Sharon's house. And she's thrilled to have us. Unfortunately, we've brought like ALL our luggage with us so we've cluttered her living room. We owe her yet another present for that.

Oh! In the frenzy of trying to rant about the buyer, I've forgotten about the great momentous occasion of Daniel graduating. He looked very very cool in his gown and a black suit. He, the one with minimum fashion direction, wanted to don the gown without a tie, which I refused to let him do. So we bought a uni tie (of which, he now has two since I bought him one LAST YEAR!!) and a tie pin to go with it. I must say, he looked VERY very spiffy in the attire. He also must have stopped traffic since he insisted on walking home after being dressed by the regalia shop (the gown people). Cool though, the gown billows.

The ceremony was ho-hum but I've decided that when I grow up, I would like to be vice chancellor because his gown had VERY VERY cool embroidery on it. Yeah, plus I'd like one of them mace things that the proctor of the school carries in.

Gilmore Girls is on now, so I'm going to stop here and maybe write more later.


Ondine tossed this thought in at 18:55

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Saturday, December 15, 2001

Where to Live?

Both Daniel and I seem to be in a slightly strange mood. I think it has to do with leaving. For once, it seems more obvious with him than with me. Well, I'm guessing it's because he's more opinionated than I am when it comes to lifestyle. I'm alright anywhere as long as I have the right people around and the right food. He needs a whole country to be right and like many Singaporeans before him, who have gone overseas, he has developed a great dislike for his countrymen. It's a very "us and them" mentality despite the fact that by birth, we are all Singaporeans.

I don't blame him. The behaviour of our countrymen overseas is astoundingly disgraceful. We were at Movieworld in the Gold Coast and there were hordes of them, who seemed to know how everyone was out to cheat them of their money and time and had grand schemes to evade them. They hatched their grand schemes within everyone's earshot, with the characteristic pompousity (I don't care if there isn't such a word) of someone who actually doesn't know very much but doesn't give two hoots. Anyway, that's just a tour group full. Imagine 2/3 of the country populated with such people and you'll see why Daniel is up set about going home.

I think I'm more able to shut them out because I haven't been as long as he has. I have also grown up within the educational system there and am therefore more impervious to the idiocies that surrounds me. It's a survival mechanism. If I got annoyed at every single person around me, in school, even in uni and at work, I would be a very miserable person. Daniel has had the advantage of being overseas and coming back to see Singapore through the lenses of a foreigner. It may not be the best way to see things but that's what it's like. I must admit that I've become slightly more "atas" (malay for snooty, as learnt from my mother this trip here) about myself as compared to my fellow countrymen. But still, I guess it's with less vehemence than Daniel does.

I suspect the re-settling would be quite a shock. I do recall being shoved into the train unknowingly by passengers behind me, eager to get a seat on the train at rush hour. That was on my first day back to SIngapore after a whole year in Melbourne. That sort of thing.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed about everything. Everyone warns me that our relationship will be tried and tested by the tensions of living with our parents once again and the heat (shrug). Well, people also warned that honours year would be a trying time as well. Others said that living together was one of the sure ways of ending a relationship and thankfully, we've survived those ominous warnings and hopefully, we'll survive this one as well. By far, I think this shall be the harshest, but I have faith and our mantra is " it's not permanent". This arrangement, that is.

Anyway, we have no utensils in the house as everything is in boxes so I'm off to buy souvlakis for dinner. They're yummy and yet another thing I'm going to miss when I go home.


Ondine tossed this thought in at 11:45

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Friday, December 14, 2001

The End is Near

The packing of the house has finally begun and it's depressing. My room's in a mess, it no longer looks lived in and I'm finding stuff that's making me all nostalgic and depressed.

When I first moved here, I was told that I would leave here 10kgs heavier. I was determined to not let that happen. Unforturnately, weight gain is this creepy little bugger that sneaks up on you. So, even though I've known that I've put on weight and some of my clothes don't fit so well, it hadn't occured to me that I've gained a whole lot of weight, until today. I found some photos of a ballet piece I did before I moved here and I was soooo thin. Daniel keeps trying to console me by telling me that I can't stay pubescent looking forever and that I had to become a woman someday.

Does becoming a woman necessarily have to mean that I put on weight? Sigh..So I just sat down and burst into tears for no apparent reason other than the fact that I was a skinny 22 year old and am a "womanly" 25 year old now. Daniel was lost for words I think.

I think it's unfair, that anyone has to put on weight if they don't want to. Apparently, I'm to blame the weather for the weight. It's colder here, so to keep warm, you eat more. I guess so, but don't you also burn more to keep warm. *mutter mutter*

That's basically what I've been thinking about the whole day. That and the fact that I have 8 test-pads and a ton of stationary to bring home. Every holiday when I go back to Singapore, I buy stationary because stationary here is expensive and the paper is not nice. But I think I've bought more than I've used, so I'm bringing back a whole lot of it. And we're freighting it back at $1.50/kg. I don't think my mom is going to be too pleased. I don't care though, I'm fat.

I'm hoping that I'll shed all the weight when I go home. I wish I had the time to keep the sort of dance schedule that I did then. I danced 6 days a week and was in uni about 3 days then. It felt good. You know when your body is fit and toned. And I want to be able to be like that again. I like that feeling. Well, we'll see how many ballet classes and pilates classes I can fit in when i go home.

Ok, this entry is slightly whingy and whiny. I apologise. It's just that I've always taken pride in how I look and it's always been important to me. I'm not proud of the fact that I've let myself slip, so I'm in a slight self-flagalating mood right now. Sorry..

I'll leave it at this, maybe tomorrow, I'll write something chirpier.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 08:28

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One Small Step for Man

It's been a while since I last wrote. My excuse for the silence is that there have been too many parents around and at the end of the day, I'm either too tired or too crabby to sit down and write anything. The house doesn't seem very peaceful anymore. Many a morning, I have woken to the sound of scotchtape (sealing the boxes) or to one of my mom's friends on the phone. Not very quiet.

This morning, for some reason or other, I'm up before everyone else is. So I'm using this time to write this long overdue entry. In the last week, we've been questioned, thoroughly, about our future plans, personal and career wise. I have been told that my priorities now should be to have children and see them through school instead of my further education. As I explained to Greg, my supervisor, yesterday, I think to an extent, our parents are of the generation that believe that you should have a basic degree and go out and work. Postgraduate degrees are for people who have no personal lives and want to make a career out of being a student. Well, I'm still thinking about the Phd thing but I'll give myself some breathing space and time to save for it. If you recall, I once said that I had to live on $4.96 a week, well, it's because of this Phd idea. Based on a trainee teacher's salary, and after siphoning money for savings, parents, bills and necessities plus the Phd, I'll have something like $20 a month left. So, I can only go to the movies once every two weeks, and if I buy a cup of Pearl Tea, that's it... I have to forgo any other sort of entertainment that week. Well, it all sounds rather dramatic and I'm sure it's not going to come to that, but the financial situation will be that dire. Anyway, I disgress. Our parents have very definitive ideas about how we should lead our lives. The universal rationale behind that is they've been through life and know what should be done. I don't doubt their intentions and I don't doubt that in terms of life experiences, they know better. The problem is that we pretty much have our own ideas too and whilst advice is always welcome, it's our lives to lead and I guess our decisions to make, so yeah.

Anyway, I got my examiners reports back yesterday and the reports ranged from sarcastic and biting to encouraging and well, nice. :) I was told that a thesis on language should not have so many linguisitc errors. Well, I'm sorry....:) When you're writing in a hurry and when it's proofed in a hurry, there are bound to be "linguistic errors". Now that I've got it back, I've got work to do. To try and clean it up, according to the comments and correct the typos so that maybe, we can get it published, which will be cool and hopefully add to more career prospects.

As I write this, I'm multi tasking and filling in the form that will seal my fate for the next 3 or 4 years. I'm applying for the whole teaching schtick online. I've been advised to do that for a number of reasons that are mind numbing to go through. The online application form is equally mindnumbing. The questions are repetitive, they favour those who are educated in Singapore and make it plain hard for someone who has been educated both in SIngapore and overseas. I mean, I have two basic degrees, but it only has space for one. Granted, I'm one of the very few people who have two undergraduate degrees but still, they should make that sort of provision. And and and... I just found out that had I done my honours in Singapore and gotten the grades I got, I could apply for a scholarship post-hoc and get back pay of like $9000 or something like that. That could pay for my first year phd fees and Daniel's Playstation 2 and then some. I understand that the standard of overseas universities can vary from institution to institution, but they should at least invite us to apply. I resent the fact that I'm prejudiced against, just because I decided to go overseas to have a different educational experience. Humph, big time.

I've also been led to understand that as a graduate from NUS or NTU (the local Singapore unis), you are automatically given membership to the SDU (Social development Unit), I think it goes by another name now, but I'm not quite sure what. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, it's sort of like a place where you're supposed to meet people and hopefully the one you would like to spend the rest of your life with. It was an initiative set up when it was found that graduates in SIngapore weren't getting married and producing babies. haha. I'm told that they organise some great activities at very low costs and people just go to it because it's cheap. I'm told that the organisation has been abused by people who do have significant others, but want to enjoy the low costs of the activities. I don't see why they got thrown out. Well, anyhow, overseas graduates have to pay to join the SDU. Even though there is a stigma to it (being in the SDU), I still maintain that there is a certain amount of prejudice that goes on there.

Ok, my mom wants the phone line so I better upload this before she comes in and bugs me some more.

I have also decided that I don't have enough guts in me to take such a bold step and send off the online application to MOE. So I've saved it as a draft and well, hopefull later.


Ondine tossed this thought in at 07:42

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Sunday, December 09, 2001

Meet The Parents

Today is about the longest day I've had in a long time. I was up at the crack of dawn to clean the house ( my mom was flying in from Sydney today) and there sure was alot of cleaning to do. By student standards, our house is really clean, but by my mother's standard, well... any sort of dirt would be unacceptable. So I cleaned, mopped and dusted, while Daniel vacuumed, cleared and talked to his best friend, Jon, over ICQ all at the same time.

After that, we had my lab's barbie to go to, it was at Leannda's house and the centre of attraction was her blue-tongued lizard named Yassar, named after Arafat. I didn't dare go near it. I'm scared of ANYTHING scaly, plus it was losing its skin, so no thank you.

Anyway, as usual, the barbie had too much food and we ended up giving a whole lot of it to Sharon and I suspect we're going to have sausages for breakfast tomorrow. Something like that.

My mom, her friend and our family friend, Aunty Kwee Neo are all here. The house is filled with middle aged women who insist on doing their laundry in the utility sink and hanging them all over the house. I'm not too amused but I've been told that I should just indulge in it as I'm going to be like that one day. Could I be culled, if I ever became like that? I saw this magnet in some store in Queensland that said " Mirror mirror on the wall, oh no, I've turned into my mother" Doesn't rhyme, but makes sense.. everyone's greatest fear. To turn into their mothers.

The influx of parents haven't stopped though. Tomorrow, Daniel's lot come in and there are 6 of them. God help us. The end of the year, especially if there is graduation is the time that is most stressful for students here. All the parents are here and expected to reclaim their dictatorship of you. It's hard when you've been your own keeper for the last year.

My brother says I've had it good, since I haven't been home to have parental nonsense rained down on me, but I'm quite sure, I'm getting my fair share as well. Oh well. Better my mom than my Dad here anyway. All Dad would want to do is watch B grade Chuck Norris films and eat vietnamese noodles.

Tomorrow we're off for another long drive, to the Dandenongs to pick cherries and eat scones. My mantra for this week is imposed by my brother for the sake of my sanity "water off a duck's back". Daniel will keep me in check and I'll try to remember to be firm and not be pushed around and be angry at myself for being so lame after that.

I need pearl tea. Oh, I've discovered that plain jasmine green tea with pearls is heaven so I think that's my new opium. Till then, I'll just breathe into my paper bag.

Later now...

Ondine tossed this thought in at 23:40

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Saturday, December 08, 2001

Will you Marry Me?

One of my closest friends just got proposed to last night. I'm very very thrilled for her. I think we're getting to an age where this is the next big news. After we all get married, the next big phone call you wait for and comes in probably at 1 in the morning would be one, hopefully, announcing someone is pregnant, legitimately that is..:) well.. you can never be too sure.

It is a sign that we're getting old. I still remember the first day of JC when I met Cat. We cliqued because we didn't think too highly of the orientation games that we were made to play. The solidarity as we were part of the Humanities class and like fish out of water we floundered, together. We didn't read Chekov and we didn't listen to baroque music; we liked shopping, Evita Peroni scrunchies and hair bands, so we hung out, mostly at Parkway Parade (it's a mall near our college).

Yeah, we've come a long way since then, but we've seen each other through lots of things. I've made "Vote for Cat" Council stickers for her and she's helped me pack for my coming here (I am ridiculously bad at packing and she's a whiz). We've also incurred some big phone bills but it's been worth it. Sometimes, when a friend goes away, you end up losing touch, but I think because I was away, we made a bigger effort to stay in touch, so I think we got even closer even when we were in different continents. Anyway, I'm totally totally thrilled for her. If anyone in the world deserves to be happy, it's her. The only thing I have to lament is that I can't have her as a bridesmaid when I get married. Oh well... we can't all have our druthers.

Relationships are such a scary thing nowadays. There's so little innocence left in it; it's been replaced by a whole barrel of cynicism. I see friends, all trying to find happiness and that right person and when they fail, they become so disenchanted.The irony in that, however is that because they are so disenchanted and cynical, at the first sign of any sort of happiness with the next person they meet, they dive in, only to find out after the inital buzz that there was nothing there to begin with. Then they become bitter again and the whole cycle repeats itself. These friends have often asked how best to get themselves out of the rut they are in, and I have never been able to say more than to go slow and to figure out beforehand what it is one is looking for within a relationship. And I think we all fall into one of th two categories, subconsciously. There are those who look for and want the type of relationship that their parents have and there are those who steer clear of their parents' example. So, I guess it really depends.

What I've learnt is that the work that goes into a relationship never ends. Whether you're just beginning a relationship or have been in it for ages, it still takes work. I know I haven't been through all there is to go through, far from it... but I've learnt that the concept of committment isn't a one time deal. It's something you keep revisiting and re-dedicating yourself to. I've seen with my brother and sister in law, they've known each other for 15 years and I see that even now, after 2 kids, there are still kinks but the point is that they work it out. I guess that's what counts. There is no such thing as Mr/Ms Perfect out there, only what we make them out to be.

I don't think I've got all of it figured ,but who has?

Ondine tossed this thought in at 08:32

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Thursday, December 06, 2001

Potter-ing About

It's official. The weather is seriously wonky. It's supposed to be summer, but today, it's wet, rainy and below 10 degrees. How bizarre. Very different from Queensland which was hot and humid like Singapore. Yeah, Daniel got cranky because he was sweeating too much. It beats me how he ever got through NS in his long-fours.

Anyway, it's been a day to laze and not do much. The day started at 11 in the morning, after some strange dreams about driving a golf buggy off a cliff and being put in a giant meat grinder by a drug dealer, which turned out to be Dan. He is often amused at the strange-ness of my subconscience. I get very funny dreams.

We went to Box Hill for lunch. it's a suburb that has good asian food and some Japanese anime stores that Dan likes. It's the only place in Melbourne that has got passable fishballs, by my standards. Oh, speaking of fishballs, I have to apologise for a remark made. I said at Dan's birthday steamboat thing that fishballs are made of plaster of paris, that's why they're bouncy. That scared off my friend, Brian, from eating them. Apparently not. I asked my mom, So fishballs are safe eating. :) Yeah, so I had fishball noodles for lunch and we found a Lucky Cup opened in Box Hill. Lucky Cup is part of the Happy Cup Pearl Tea franchise from Singapore. It made my day when the first Lucky Cup opened in Melbourne because in the 10 days I was back in SIngapore this last winter, I got hooked on it. Unfortunately, the Lucky Cup people here were snooty, rude and ought to have their licenses revoked. I would have boycotted their shop totally had I not been such a slave to the drink. Anyhows, there is another one now open in Box Hill and let me just say, the people are nicer and the store is roomier. So I'm happy now. I can have my Pearl Tea without being at the mercy of those snoots in the city.

I think that people in suburb stores are much nicer than those in the city. They're more polite, they chat with you more and basically, you feel like you get your money's worth with them. So I shall be more than happy to drive slightly further to Box Hill to have nice chinese food and a Pearl Tea for dessert. Plus Daniel gets all his anime tapes from there.

I don't get the whole anime thing. Japanese animation, where girls have big eyes that have stars drawn into them. Show me a girl who has stars in her eyes. Or just show me a girl that has such big eyes and such a high pitched voice. But I think it's just me, lots of my friends like it and so does my 14 year old cousin who's ICQ nickname reflects her latest fav anime character, or so it seems.

We went to see Harry Potter last night. It was alright. The effects were very good, the characters were cast very well. I love Emma Watson, the girl who plays Hermione (pronouced Her-my-nee, according to the movie). But somehow, it wasn't enough. It didn't seem as epic as it was made out to be. The kids over-acted a bit, there were too many running themes, which made it slightly jarring. They should have stuck to just some themes and played up those parts of the book, instead you could actually pin point in the film where one chapter in the book ended and the next began. I know lots of people liked it because of that, because it stuck so closely to the book that it almost seemed you didn't need a scriptwriter for the movie as the lines came straight out of there. But I think, there should have been slightly more license to play around with the scenes from the book. It would have made for better watching. Well, it's not going to stop me from anticipating the next movie as I am the next book. I just hope Joanne Rowling doesn't drop the ball, or make the characters too transparent and one dimensional which I think, she is in the danger of doing. You want to believe that there is some bad in everyone good and that deep down, perhaps, even the most evil person has a conscience. Well... maybe not Voldermort (the evil villain in HP) but maybe some of the others.

Oh yes, along with the Harry Potter movie came the trailer for Star Wars, Episode 2. The trailer looked pretty good, especially the scenes with fighting and I thought it looked cool and woth watching till the last bit where it was splashed across the screen, Stars Wars Episode Two: The Attack of the Clones. It just sounded too much like a B grade horror flick, like the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Not cool.

Ok, I'm off to make some cookies now. Now and then I get into the mood of wanting to make choc-chip cookies. I don't eat them much because they're fatty, but I like eating them and giving them away. So I shall do that, plus I need to finish my Tom Clancy book. I need to return it to the library tomorrow.

So... later now...

Ondine tossed this thought in at 23:25

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Wednesday, December 05, 2001

Back From The Sunshine Coast

Well, I'm back, tanned, rested and about 5kgs heavier than when we left. I'm not pleased about the last bit but I can't do much about it. Shrug.

Anyway, we had a great time. It started off abit shakily Kevin was late picking us up and we had lots of luggage to stuff into his tiny Daihatsu Charade since we don't have a car. Part of that is my mom's fault- she made us bring the steamboat that we had here, if you recall, we used it the night before we left... for her friends who wanted one. So yes, I think we are like the only people in the world who travel with a steamboat. We managed to get to the airport in time, even though we had a scare with Kevin trying to drive off with only half of me in the car ( I was trying to arrange the many bags we had so that I could find some space to sit).

Virgin Blue is a no-frills sort of flight. No inflight entertainment except for the upbeat music they play prior to take off and landing. Also they don't serve any sort of refreshments on board. You got to pay if you want like, let's say, an orange juice or a bar of kit kat. Daniel liked the planes. He thought they had character. I suspect that it had something to do with the painting of a girl with Barbie-esque proportions on the plane. Well..he also thought Noosa (that's the Sunshine Coast) was cool cos there were plenty of nekkid babes sunning themselves on the beach. Yes.... I must admit that these surfer girls look extremely good in their bikinis. The guys were pretty yummy too, but some of them were just too grubby looking for my liking. I'm a clean-cut-guy kinda gal.There was this one very priceless moment of nudity on the beach. We were just taking a walk down the water line and there was this 2 year old child (we couldn't tell if it was a boy or a girl) who was buck naked save for a cowboy hat playing. He ( I think he was a He, Dan thinks at that age, they look androgynous from the back) was just sitting there, totally absorbed with getting as much sand onto his spade and flicking it onto the other side of him. Absolutely priceless.

We met my mum after 5 blissful days of sunsoaking by the pool or by the beach. That was pretty much the end of my bliss. She was the one who convinced us that we absolutely HAD to stay with her friends on the farm. But she didn't tell them to expect us. It led to some awkward moments and me trying to find the right words to ask if we could bunk in on the farm. Yup. Also, she bought everything in sight and told me to bring back to Melbourne for her (she was going to Sydney before coming through to Melbourne). Not so fun. Plus she had this fantastic cough but insisted on eating stuff that made her cough even more. I swear, I think she's getting back at me for all those things I did to drive her crazy when I was young. I think mothers see that as their God-given right. I think it just happens, you drive them crazy when you're a kid and when you're old enough, they do it back to you. I'm guessing this is how it's going to be for me and everyone else when we become parents. Oh well.

All in all though, it was worth the $100 a month saving the both of us did the whole year to just about save enough to go on this trip. The farm was an absolute eyeopener. My mom's friends, John and Ros have a 220 acre farm with 90 cattle on it. It was huge. The house was huge. And it was remarkable because everything there was on the farm, was done by they and their kids. They planted every tree and barbed wired every fence and let me say this, too fence up 220 acres into about 20 paddocks is alot of fence to barb. They wake up at like 4 in the morning and work all day. Hard work is given a deeper and more realistic meaning here. Also, they are so much at the mercy of the land and the elements. The cattle could be attacked by dingos, or get caught in barb wire and they have to live with it and go on. I guess when you do this sort of work as a livelihood, you don't take very much for granted.

Well, I have to go do 10 days worth of washing. It's amazing how much laundry you can accumulate in such a short period of time, really. I'm going to see Harry Potter tonight. I don't care that my mom disapproves or thinks its evil. I want to see it and that's that. She also had plenty to say about Daniel's The Hobbit t-shirt. Sigh..

Later now. There's lots more to talk about but I'll save that for when I don't have laundry and a headache.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 17:21

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" Far in the stillness, a cat languishes loudly"