Thursday, August 07, 2008

No immunity

Every time I feel jaded and burnt out and feel like it's time I left the profession not because I hate it but have become indifferent to it, something happens.

When I think there's nothing in me that bothers any more and it's just a pay check, I'm reminded of why people refer to it as a calling and a vocation.

When I think unleashing my fury on them will be cathartic for me but it breaks my heart because I actually do care and want the best for them.

When I tear them a new one, not because I'm taking it out on them but because I am near tears and panic at their state of affairs.

Days like these, I know that despite everything that is going on in my head, I was born to teach.

Unfortunately, this heartache is really something I don't need now. It's nice to know I haven't really wasted the last five years of my life in a profession that was supposedly something I fell into, but at this point in time, when I am already so emotionally and physically sapped, this takes from me what I don't have, from the last vestiges of fumes that I have been running on.

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Ondine tossed this thought in at 08:23

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