Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Piss off

Every time we come back from our trips to Melbourne, we are often floored by the differences between the two cities. Obviously, Melbourne wins because of the weather. Singapore however has cheap food. Melbourne has got big supermarkets that are fun to trawl at midnight. Singapore has cheaper public transport and cheaper movie tickets. The comparison and the list goes on.

One thing however, that puts a point in Melbourne's court is the condition Singapore toilets often find themselves in. In Melbourne, even if we go to a bathroom in the middle of the freeway, it is relatively clean and dry. Here, we'd be hard pressed to find a bathroom that is clean, dry much less one that does not smell foul and does not have tissue paper on the floor.

It's a running joke that the government of our little country has tried to use the draconian methods to get bathrooms looking more reputable. The problem with those methods is that the human element is not taken into consideration. While a government can legislate the need to flush after every use, it really is up to the user to put his hand on the flush and depress it. And then, there is the issue of the chicken-egg-vicious cycle component.

From young, my mother always reminded me that I was not to touch the toilet seats because of the germs, footprints and possibly pee on it. I suspect, that is what a lot of women grow up learning, that toilet seats in public are not fit for the human bum. Therein lay the problem. It doesn't negate the fact that we need to pee. We need to pee but we can't sit on the seat. So what is the next best solution? The Hover. Hovering over the toilet seat is an art. The problem with it is for the uninitiated or the inexperienced, it is quite a challenge. This results with pee being splashed onto the toilet seat causing the need for others to hover once again over the toilet seat since, once again, the toilet seat is wet with pee and adding to the general gross condition of the public bathroom.

Someone assured me that Melbourne bathrooms are equally bad. The only difference is that the weather delays its stinking up. And that in itself becomes another tick in the "Yes, we should move to Oz" column.

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Ondine tossed this thought in at 22:28

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