Wind In My Head: Ten ways of screwing up your child
Wind In My Head
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Ten ways of screwing up your child
Because we are teachers and come across over 200 new names a year and because we are at an age where people around us are having children and trying to name said children, we've been having a lot of fun with names. But we've also realised it's the perfect way of screwing up one's kids and guaranteeing that the child will spend many unhappy and expensive hours in therapy.Here are some of the suggestions or names we have actually come across.
1. Valentino, Valentini, Valencino, Valencini and Valentina for an alliteratively big familiy
2. Gucci, Prada and Louis Vuitton for the fashion inclined.
3. Holland, Sembawang and Leonie for those locationally inclined.
4. Precious Faith for the LOtR inclined
5. Stamford and Raffles for the colonially inclined
6. Casafina, Savannah, Tropicana for the condo inclined
7. Othello, Macbeth and Ophelia for the tragedy inclined
8. Nebuchanezzar and Napoleon for the power inclined
9. Bolda, Bilda, Blida for those alliteratively inclined
10. Vita, Vitalis, Vito for those who liked number 9.
Our favourite that will totally screw our kid up will be Tawny Totie Tan. Such wonderful alliteration and such potential for disaster.
Technorati Tags: names
Ondine tossed this thought in at 21:33
3 thoughts...
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At 11:55 pm
Tempest Blue said... Hi! just a random surfer.
Funny post! Personally I've noticed a few odd names that seem to have been invented by ignorant parents through either phonetic reconstruction or merging two popular names together.
May I contribute a few of my made-up faves?
1)Angle
2)Triffany
3)Abigale
4)Nicotina
5)Joreen-
At 2:23 am
Elia Diodati said...
Not to mention the way 90% of Singaporeans will butcher any name that isn't ubiquitous among the beng/lian set.
I think Greek would be pretty neat. "Heraclitus Ong" has a nice ring to it. So does "Aristophanes Tay".
How about accents? "Björk Wan"? "Sigurðssøn Ouyang"?
I am having way too much fun. I should stop now.-
At 4:03 pm
Tym said...
I was just telling Ondine that I just came across the name Antigone again recently, and I really like the sound of it --- but there is no way in hell I would name any kid that. In Singapore, the poor kid would be chased around the playground to the taunts of, "Anti gone home! Anti gone home!" And I'm not certain she would fare any better in other English-speaking environments, either.