Monday, February 27, 2006

The Birds and the Bees

There's been so much talk about Tammy in the last week and it didn't take very long for the video to get sent to one of our friends. We talked about it over dinner and a friend of ours labelled it "Reality Porn" and it selling in Penang for 5 ringgit. On the way home, Packrat and I agreed that the most disturbing thing about it was that this 17 year old girl was having unprotected sex. Agreed, there are many other disturbing issues behind but that was the one that stood out (pardon the pun).

So, he talked to his class today and I shall talk to mine. I hesitated momentarily since soon enough, we're going to be doing the whole Love Matters spiel again. But unlike those who sit in the ivory tower and convince themselves that the only way to teach sex ed is to preach abstinence, we know better. And Love Matters is about abstinence. Now, abstinence could work if those Rapuzels that lived in the tower could guarantee that the students we were going to teach it to haven't even thought about having sex yet. They can't. They can pretend that they haven't, when in actual fact, it has become a highly rated skill among those in the teaching profession to be able to spot girls who are in fact pregnant. I myself, do not possess a gift, but I know of some teachers who are and are more often than not, spot on.

Anyway, I will talk to them about it tomorrow. Officially, the College has on many occasions talked to the girls and boys separately, about what can be expected of them in a relationship and this is outside the official Love Matters stuff, but it's still, in my opinion, not enough. When you tell a girl that being alone with a boy could lead to many things and possibly sex and pregnancy, there's a whole lot in between that's missed out and they need to know all that as well. We're still a long way from dressing a banana up with a condom.

Our kids have been so imbued with pregnancy being the dangerous outcome of having sex that it is all they protect themselves against, if they protect themselves at all. Problem is, that's not enough. Not the way things are going. So, abstinence can take a back seat tomorrow. They're going to hear more than just that from me. It's easy to say "don't do it", but as Tammy has shown, kids nowsadays face more than just that and they need a cliff notes version of it.

Five things to do to keep yourself safe.
1. Don't have sex.
2. If you do have sex, ALWAYS use a condom.
3. If you do have sex, don't ever video yourself regardless of the kink factor.
4. If you do have sex, and accidentally video yourself, erase the video and empty your trashcan. The phone goes out with you, it's akin to carrying porn of yourself in your bag if you don't.
5. If you can't trust yourself to do any of this, refer back to 1.

Alternatively, I could teach abstinence-plus.
 
   
JOSH
We commissioned a report about a year ago on Sex Education in public schools,
and, well, this is it. [drops the report on C.J.'s desk]
C.J.
What's it say?
JOSH
It's not good.
C.J.
How's it not good?
JOSH
It says basically that teaching abstinence only doesn't work-
that people are going to be prone to have sex whether they're cautioned
against it or not.
C.J.
Well, what are they recommending?
JOSH
Something called "abstinence plus".
C.J.
Abstinence plus?
JOSH
Yes.
C.J.
What's that mean?
JOSH
Well, Sam's renamed it 'everything but'.
C.J.
Everything but?
JOSH
Yes.
C.J.
Ah.
JOSH
Yes.
C.J.
They want teachers to teach...
JOSH
Yes.

   
The West Wing- "Take Out The Trash Day" 
 
 



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