Wind In My Head: Haunted by Christmas Past
Wind In My Head
Monday, August 08, 2005
Haunted by Christmas Past
I had a miserable time when I was in secondary school. No doubt I was a school jockette, but I was much disliked. Not for any other reason but my Peranakan, mixed-bloodedness had given to me, as my neutral-not thinking about anything in particular-look, the most dao (tao) of looks. So, girls my age shunned me, because not only did I, in their very cheena-pong-piang- opinion, speak English with an accent (in my defence, I did not. I just spoke what was proper English) . On top of that, the teachers loved the fact that I spoke English, was more self-aware and I ran like the wind and could break track records by just twitching my nose. All that was true blue recipe for me to not be liked. I got over that and still have some best friends from that time. People realised that I wasn't actually dao, and in fact, I was painfully shy. Possibly because they shunned me.College wasn't so bad because the dao-ness became something that the boys couldn't figure out. So, I was part of a group called the Ice Princesses. Can see, cannot touch. That suited us fine, because it meant the ones that actually dared to come up to us, were either very thick-skinned or worth our time of day. Our own sieving process.
It hasn't bugged me much since. I get the occasional comment. Mostly these days, I'm told the dao-ness makes me tai tai like. No harm there. Unfortunately, it's come back to bite me in the ass. I was told today that I'm cold and unapproachable and unfriendly. Translation: Wa... Damn dao man!!! And this by people, who in the minute but most important scheme of things are very important.
I suspect that I will spend this holiday, instead of lying on a beach pondering over what really matters, baking muffins to bring round in a basket ala Bree Van de Camp to show that I'm not the cold heartless bitch they all seem to think that I am.
I hate keeping up appearances.
So sayeth the one who's got a glacial mudpack on her face right now.
Ondine tossed this thought in at 18:16
4 thoughts...
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At 1:03 am
Threez said... Hello, you are definitely Dao and it is not a bad thing. Better than being little miss in-your-face, super-approachable door mat. Says the other Dao madam with glacial mud on her face.
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At 11:12 am
Kay said...
A wild guess here... sounds like you had a bad w. r.?
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At 12:54 pm
儒 said...
believe it or not, i also kena called dao a lot. ever since secondary school. but i agree with threez - better than door mat. =)
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At 12:55 pm
儒 said...
oh, except i don't have glacial mudpack. =)