Monday, August 29, 2005

Ephesians 5:22-24

Just when you think you can't be shocked by what you read anymore.

The most important role in a woman's life is that of a wife and a mother. It is unnecessary for her to work unless she is a widow. In a marriage, a woman is officially attached to a man for life. They are one, and the woman must listen to the husband. As a wife, she must submit to her husband and assist him in everything he does. If the husband objects to a certain decision, she must not go against him as this will lead to quarrels and divorce. Therefore, to create the perfect conditions for a rise in birth rate, women must fulfil their roles as a wife and be obedient and understanding.



This was not written by some chauvinistic, full of himself guy who thinks the whole world should bow before him and wash his feet. This was written by a girl. A young girl at that.

Obviously, she got it from the Bible. But taken so out of context and so flawed. A colleague then remarked, it would be interesting to see what her parents were like, for the girl to grow up thinking and not questioning the logic and rationale behind this.

Colleague: I should be interested in seeing what her parents are like.
Me: But the mother won't come because she's chained up at home.
Colleague: Then I should like to see what the father is like.
Me: But he won't see you, because you're a woman!

When we went through marriage preparation, you could see the guys visibly inflate when the faciliator brought up this commandment. But in the next second, the facilitator would take out his invisible pin and pop their egos by emphasising that the command comes with a second and more important part that demands that husbands are to love their wives like Christ loved the church. Take that! Ha!

So the girl will grow up to be a subservient, birthing machine. Either that or she'll be one of those girls that go beserk in uni. No, no, we don't want her to do an Annabel Chong either.

Puzzled.

Do parents and churches really teach this out of context?

Scratch Head.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 12:43

7 thoughts...

7 thoughts...

At 3:51 pm Blogger the spear carrier said...

hi, being peeping for quite a while at your thoughts and I can't resist commenting on this post!

THANK YOU! i have been looking high and low for this verse in the bible that says a wife must submit to the husband for they are joined as one. hahaha... thank you again.

 
At 8:35 pm Blogger Tym said...

I like the exchange between you and your colleague :)

Even if the verse is taught in the context that husbands have to love their wives in the same way that Christ loves the church, in order to justify the sort of obedience the verse advocates, isn't that placing too much faith in the fallible human being? Also, why isn't it "husbands and wives submit to each other, as long as the other party loves you in the same way that Christ loves the church"?

But I know, I know --- cue an excerpt from Joan of Arcadia:

Joan: Oh, yeah. I'll know someday. Be patient. How soon will I know, exactly? February 5, 2066? Wait --- don't tell me. Like you would even tell me.
God: There's nothing I could say to make you understand.
Joan: Oh, come on! God, try me! Give me a hint!

He's all about the mysterious ways, isn't He?

 
At 12:48 pm Blogger tscd said...

You've got to take the verse in context with the rest of the passage, and also think about it in terms of the people reading the Ephesians letter. At the time, a statement like 'love your wife as Christ loved the church' would have been particularly radical, especially in a time when women were seen to have no status in society.

The radical idea is that husbands are to love their wives sacrificially - it's a greater and more difficult command than 'wives submit to your husbands'. A husband who loves sacrificially would always act in the best interest of his wife, with no question. And why shouldn't a wife submit to a husband who only does the best for her?

 
At 1:56 pm Blogger ampulets said...

Hey, that's good explanation!

Was also thinking about tym's comment about placing too much faith in the fallible human being...and in a sense, that's what marriage asks, no? If you cannot place absolute faith in the other person (however fallible he/she is), and assume the same in return, why bother saying those scary vows? ;>

 
At 2:59 pm Blogger shadow said...

tscd has a good point about reading the verses in the context of the surrounding passage.

A quick glance shows that the Ephesians seem to be having a problem with infighting and lack of unity within the church (Ephesians 4).

Paul reminds them therefore of the basics: together with the Jews, the Gentiles are fellow heirs, members of the same body, and partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel (Ephesians 3:6). The reality of the church is that it is truly and organically one body and one Spirit (Ephesians 4:4), so the church is to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace (Ephesians 4:3).

Previously, the world that was created by God was orderly and harmonious (just look at the nice rhythmic patterns and hierachies in Genesis 1-2). God was on top, man lived under His rule and in turn ruled over the earth which obeyed him (Genesis 2). However, our rejection of God led to a messed up world where there was no harmony nor order (Genesis 3-11). All relationships went topsy-turvy: man tried to be God and trusted a mere snake instead of the Creator. Man and woman tried to usurp each others' roles, and the earth no longer obeyed man.

Fast forward to the New Testament: Christ's victory on our behalf has created a new unified people who live under God's rule and reinstates the original orderly relationships. This order and harmony is not perfected now but will be in the future when Christ comes again.

In the meanwhile, there is to be harmony and order within the church.

We are now set free to serve one another with the gifts that were given for this purpose (Ephesians 4:11-12). Not social/charitable work but work that helps the body grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ (Ephesians 4:15) under God (Ephesians 4:6-7).

To each person is given different gifts (Ephesians 4:11-12). Our service to others depends on who we are. If we are elders, we serve in a certain way (1 Peter 5). If we are new converts, there are some responsibilities to avoid (1 Timothy 3:6). We serve differently as males and females. Our service is to be rendered in the proper context of orderliness. So there is a harmony and order in the relationship between a husband and a wife and in their service to one another (this ordering does not mean that the husband is in anyway more valuable or honourable than the wife. Rather, all people are equal in value in the eyes of God.): the husband is to be submitted to/respected by the wife (Ephesians 5:33) and the husband is to sacrificially love the wife even to giving his life for her. He is to nourish her and cherish her, care for her needs and be responsible for her welfare. Other than God, she is to be his most important relationship, far closer than his own parents (Ephesians 5:25-31).

The world is not correct in thinking that interchangeable roles and ways of serving each other is best for them, for God who created everything says that this is the best way of conducting relations between husband and wife because this is the way he made them in the beginning.

Sorry for the lengthy 2 cents!

:-)

 
At 3:30 pm Blogger Tym said...

I guess my take on marriage (not entirely religious, but no doubt influenced by years of "growing up in church") is that we're both fallible, yet we love and trust each other --- not only through the good days when the spouse is meeting up to that Christ-like (or some other non-religious paragon of) love but also to the extent that if the spouse is being particularly fallible, we would also have the trust in the relationship for one partner to tell the other one what's what, and not exactly in a submissive manner ;)

Of course, now that I do a little judicious Googling, I find that the problematic word for me, 'submit', is a translation of the Greek hupotasso, which means "to be arranged under" (hupo - under, tasso - to arrange), as in: the way military troops would be "arranged under" a commander.

Hm ... the more I dig, the more problematic things become (for me) ...

(Just saw Shadow's comment, but no time to respond now. Will post this first and come back later...)

 
At 5:11 pm Blogger Threez said...

Goodness, how much space you got on your blog? I'm actually writing a BOOK on this (no, really).

First of all, your student is going to the wrong church. Send her to me.

Second and I write this very abbreviated comment as
a. A woman who used to totally subscribe to the idea that a woman is equal to a man
b. A wife of a husband who has been victim of a) for a very long time

Eph 5 is the advice I would give to every single one of my girlfriends. This is because quite a number have a) threatened divorce, b) BEEN through divorce and c) can't find a husband — all because they do not subscribe to Eph 5.

As for a woman not working, I *bet* I know which church propounds this rubbish, but instead I will be productive and tell you to ask your little ward to read Proverbs 31. If after that she thinks she doesn't need to work anymore, I think you should fail her.

 

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