Wind In My Head: Deaf Becomes Him
Wind In My Head
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Deaf Becomes Him
My dad has been hard of hearing for as long as I can remember. I remember, as a snarky teenager commenting that deafness was the first sign of insanity. I think it was the teenage angst talking but he is quite deaf and that deafness has led to much frustration on our part as well as much entertainment.For instance, when Threez and my bro first announced they were expecting 7 years ago, the conversation went like this.
Bro: So, we don't think we should have the cats in the house anymore.
Dad: Why?
Bro: Well, I don't think it'll be good for Threez.
Dad: Why? Why are the cats not good to Threez?
Bro (becoming exasperated while I'm doubled over in laughter):...
Threez (chiming in loudly): No Dad! I'm pregnant.
Dad: What? Your cats are pregnant????
Bro, Threez and I (shouting): NO! DAD! THREEZ IS PREGNANT!
So, only then did he figure out that we hadn't lost our marbles and were actually talking sense.
Then, while I was home on holiday once, my friend calls and asks for me.
Dad(barking): She doesn't live here anymore.
K: Huh? Where is she living?
Dad: She checked into this hotel in Bendemeer Road yesterday.
K: Is she ok?
Dad (barking): Why wouldn't she be?
So, I get a call from my friend asking if I'm ok and whether I was pregnant and whether that was why I was banished from my house to a hotel along Bendemeer Road. Of course, I was totally not getting it until I realised that he was referring to a house guest of my mom's whose name sounds quite close to mine and she not I had moved into the Bendemeer Road hotel because she was bunking over in my room and I was back to claim it.
That's my Dad, who doesn't admit he's hard of hearing. Even after we bought him an extremely expensive hearing aid, he still goes around in his somewhat silent world that's occasionally punctured by loud, hard hitting, Van Damme- Segal type movies.
And during the run up to my wedding, I was most afraid that he would bargain me away for a basket of oranges and gold chocolate coins. During what was called the "negotiation of the dowry", my dad sat there and just nodded, laughing occasionally. After the session, when my brother asked what he agreed to or asked for and my dad shrugged saying that he couldn't hear a thing and the place was far too noisy. That required the already very stressed bride and groom to be to arrange yet another session, this time having wisened up, with points to be discussed typed up neatly and issued to both parties before hand.
But what takes the cake is he had cataract surgery yesterday. My mom, newly back from the North American continent, berates him for not telling her about the surgery. He claims not to have known about it. He claims, no one told him he was in for surgery. My mother thinks that he was told but didn't hear a thing and just nodded, hmmmed a little and agreed a lot. After all, they are trained medical professionals so they should know what they are doing.
So, it came not only as a surprise to us, the children, but him too, that he was down for surgery yesterday. Perhaps, he thought the form he signed was to get a blood test done and the next thing he knew, there was a laser with a red light pointing at his eyeball.
Dangerous. Some guy might sell him magic stones because he heard it as cheap abalone. Die lah.
Ondine tossed this thought in at 14:22
1 thoughts...
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At 5:27 pm
Threez said... Hahahahahahaha! I forgot about the pregnant one! Hahahahahahaha!
Poor Dad. To people of our parents' generation, eyes going is one thing, that happens to everyone. Ears going are a totally different thing: it seems to mean "you have just turned 100".
You know, Mom told me about Dad's op before she left. From your blog, I know she has not been taking her gingko pills because she obviously doesn't remember. She said Dad wanted to wait for her to come back before he went for it.