Wind In My Head: Blast From the Past
Wind In My Head
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
Blast From the Past
While I was filling up more paperwork for our eventual Flight of Fancy, I felt that I was walking back through the pages of our lives in Melbourne. And all this, not from looking at photo albums or videos, but just passports.One of the ridiculous pieces of information that this very expensive adventure requires is a list of all our previous entries into Australia. Seeing that Australia is about the nearest Caucasian country to visit and this isn't including the fact that I studied there, I have about 6 visas in my passport and about 12 entries into and exits out of that land under. Each one having to be carefully and accurately noted, cross-referenced to a specific visa and visa number. Double that, seeing that I am only the 'spouse' in the application and Dan is the primary applicant and you're where I was about an hour ago.
Tedious and frustrating as it was- the ink that was used by Ozzie customs seems to be substandard ink and with the general passing of time has faded into such oblivion that you cannot quite tell the year, much less the month and the day- the specific dates reminded me of a life I'd almost forgotten. Well, I haven't quite forgotten it it just hasn't been in the forefront of my memory in a long while. All of a sudden, I was remembering how chaotic it was to leave and how chaotic but totally exhilarating it was to be back in Melbourne after the flight. It's made me feel sad to have forgotten.
On some subconscious level, we haven't. That's why we're indulging in this nightmare of paperwork. That's why we're planning and saving and tutoring like crazy. But I think sometimes we forget about why we're doing all this. We just do it. Because it's required of us. It's hard to always keep the big picture in full view, not when the everyday demands keep clouding it. And I'm ashamed to say that those demands have clouded it so much that I'd forgotten what I know will make me happy. My bad.
But then again, I think it's also a survival mechanism. If I spent all the time here and in my job wishing I was somewhere else, the level of misery I would be feeling now would be incredibly phenomenal and probably detrimental to me and my job and hence, to me and to Dan. So, perhaps, it is good that while I remember this in my dream state, I don't spend every waking moment obsessing over it. I have better things to obsess about, truthfully.
But it was nice, also to be reminded. It was nice to still remember my old Melly address even if we don't own the house anymore. It was nice to recall the frenzy that went with every departure to Melly and the heavy heart that accompanied every arrival back to manky Singapore. I don't want to sell out. I don't want to forget that, totally. Keep it in a box so that I can function here, yes. But throw it away, hell no.
Hopefully, the end is in sight, behind this mountain of paper work. But I suspect not. The agent is less ept that I had hoped he would be. He hasn't asked us for our digit prints yet. Yup, apparently, that's part of the application procedure, just to make sure that we're not wanted by Interpol.
Ondine tossed this thought in at 22:57
