Thursday, March 03, 2005

Mummy Knows Best

Warning: Rant ahead.

Why is it somehow mothers seem to forget to be people and friends after they become mothers?

I know, I'm not a mother so I won't understand until I learn the secret handshake of motherhood. But seriously, some of these things are just common sense for the decent human being and when you call yourself a friend.

In what world is it okay to actually tell someone they're down to help out with time and date stipulated without any sort of prior warning or heads up? I mean, do mothers think that all the worlds are suspended around their universe and axis? What if we have other things lined up? Is it because they think that non-mother type people can't be as busy as them and be struggling to keep their head above water? Or do they just assume their children are so important that everyone will come running at the drop of a hat?

It's annoying. It's frustrating. It makes one feel that my life is worth less in the eyes of the revered mummies of the world because I don't have one of them kids. So, by extension, everything I do is inconsequential. And it makes me want to fight for my life and what it means. I like my life. I like being busy and stressed for myself, because when I get through it, there is a sense of euphoria. I may dislike my job at times but I love the feeling it gives me, that I'm doing something and that something is important. And I hate people who think that what I do is not important or less important than their jobs or their children. I don't compare my job to anyone else's. I know bringing up kids is tough. All I have to do is look at how exhausted my mom is with Bruce and Beth to know that and I respect that. I don't tell her she's less tired than I am because I face classes of 25 kids every day for 8 hours. So why do the mummies of the world think less of what we do?

I understand that when one becomes a parent, the focus of their life changes and the kids take priority. Before I got married, a pastor and some married friends told us that while kids were important, they couldn't be made to feel that they were more important than either parent to one another. That the kids should never dominate the marriage. And I thought that was excellent advice. Too often, women become mummies and forget that they were people, wives and friends before that. And I feel sad to know that for some of those that I considered friends that I could confide in, their world has become so blindered that they don't see that their friends are still friends and need to be treated as such, with consideration and kindness. Not with an air of importance and taking us non-mummy friends for granted, in every way possible.

Humph. That really sucks.

Big time.

I should start looking into creating bumper stickers "Kick me if I become a Mummy and forget to be a person"

Ondine tossed this thought in at 09:20

2 thoughts...

2 thoughts...

At 1:44 am Blogger BLOODSHED said...

i sense to have lost my best friend the moment he got married and moved to his new house. and this i feel only after i read your article. its painful and it sucks.

At 2:59 pm Blogger BLOODSHED said...

i'm sorry, but can i link up this rant of yours on my blog? just wanna share it with my friends. :)


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