Wind In My Head: Bad everything
Wind In My Head
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Bad everything
Because as an educator, I am a civil servant and the civil service has Standard Operating Procedures (SOPs) for everything, there is a circular out there that says I am not allowed to blog about work. And my work is often correcting bad English. The problem is that it is so tempting to mock bad English, not bad students, just bad English. Now that we've been specifically told not to do that, I have to find other outlets to release the need to mock.Thankfully, I live in Singapore, where we pretend to be an English speaking society but actually, most of us really suck at the English. So all one has to do is to cast one's eye around and you get enough to fill a journal. I know a friend who used to sit at MacDonalds and eavesdrop on conversations for a linguistics paper.
Anyway, in the last week, I have been presented with opportunities to mock two weaknesses of Singapoeans. One, the aforementioned bad English and two, bad logic.
Bad English first.
Packrat has been hankering for one of those remote controlled helicopters that seem to be so popular these days. So, while I was stocking up on baby supplies, he was off reading everything, including the fine print, on the helicopter box, hoping to find reason to buy the toy. I don't think he found a reason to buy it but we both found reason to photograph the toy though.
Specimen A.
And... Specimen B.
Actually, come to think of it, they are pretty good reasons why he should have bought the chopper. I mean, what's a better reason than to have something that is explosible!!! and is a choking hazard that's suitable for 14 year olds.
So that's Bad English. Now, my experience with bad logic. This one's pretty priceless. At a very high end restaurant that overlooks most of the Singapore skyline, I ask a simple question.
Me: Do you have non-caffeinated teas?
Waitress who is actually named after a tea (very confidently) : Yes.
Me: What teas do you have? (Expecting the very least for her to give me the tea that she is named after)
Waitress: We have coffee.
Me: WTF??????
I guess in a strange way, there is some logic in that- it is a non-caffeinated tea. But then again, it's only that because it's a totally different drink which is incidentally, full of caffeine. Will wonders never cease.
I shouldn't complain. If these faux pas didn't happen, I would be a sad sad person.
Technorati Tags: Singapore, Bad English
Ondine tossed this thought in at 19:02
