Conversation 1:
Me: My ex student has asked me to collect her A level cert for her.
Office person: No. Cannot. Must have letter.
Me: But I'm a teacher here.
Office person: No. Cannot. Must have letter.
Me: But this student is overseas.
Office person: No. Cannot. Must have letter.
Me: You don't trust me? I'm going to steal it? I'm going to sell it to some student in India.
Office person: No. Cannot. Must have letter.
Conversation 1 part 2:
Me: Ay, you better call the office and kick up a fuss.
Ex student: Yah, I did. I called them and told them I was overseas. They said I had to email them with your IC number and call them back once I've done it.
Me: Wah lau. Damn kutu man!
Ex student: Ay, don't forget to bring your IC down. They need to verify that it's you.
Me: The dam that is holding back all the Hokkien expletives must now burst forth.
Conversation 2- much funnier and much more endearing.
Colleague One (girl) :I've had a hard year. I think I shall pamper myself and buy myself a solitaire.
Colleague Two (boy): Um. that's nice. It's a nice game to own.
Colleague One (girl): !!!!!!!!
Ondine tossed this thought in at 09:06