Friday, September 02, 2005

Speechwriting

I am no Sam Seaborn.

And this morning, I stopped procrastinating and wrote out my speech for K's wedding. I didn't know how long a 5 minute speech would look on paper so I asked Tym since she has more experience with these things than I do. And her initial reply scared the hell out of me.

Apparently, a para with 4 or 5 sentences will take an hour.

I thought to myself, gee, I must speak far too fast in class. No wonder no one understands me.

Apparently it was a mistake. She meant a para a minute.

That's more like it.

So, I try and recall what was said at my wedding. I can picture the speech makers very clearly, but I cannot for the life of me remember what they said. Of course, that gave me consolation, that no one would remember what I say anyway. But then again, she's one of my best friends so I should do a good job.

I thought of so many things that I wanted to say. Everyone told me that it was supposed to be something different. Is it supposed to be about her? Is it supposed to be about my friendship with her? Is it supposed to be my wishes for her? Or some wise sagely advice that only a married friend could offer?

I decided to play safe and tried to fit ALL of that into five minutes. Not everything I wanted to go in. I wanted desperately to narrate Packrat's Tao of Ice Cream story. I wanted to tell of their engagement. I wanted to do little marriage wise-isms.

I settled for I Corinthians 13:4. It is I think under rated advice. I think it's become such a cliche that people forget the true meaning of it. Of what love is. We have it engraved on our rings and even then, we are guilty of forgetting. It's the mother of all advice. Obey this and everything else falls into place.

Just as 1 Corinthians defined for me what love was, I wanted to talk about what marriage was about. Bishop Jeremy Taylor put it most succintly and most realistically.


Marriage has in it less of beauty, but more of safety, than the single life;
it hath more merry and more sad;
it is fuller of sorrows and fuller of joys;
it lies under more burdens but is supported by all the strengths of love and charity;
And those burdens are delightful.



How true. The numerous times when I succumb to those evil fairy tale expectations, I'm drawn back into reality by it. A few weeks ago, I talked to a student who found out the guy she liked was actually playing her for a fool and I was mad enough at him on her behalf that I offered to fail him. It was then I realised that what the proverbial they say about marriage was true. It is more of safety- sure you have your aberrations, but on the whole, it is true. It is more merry- I have never been happier and had so much fun with one person. It is more sad- I will never fall in love again or ever experience a first kiss ever again. It is fuller of sorrows- one day, I will talk about this, just not now. And it is fuller of joys- having someone to love with and love at is God's greatest blessing! But is supported by all the strengths of love and charity- I married a wonderful guy who buys me fishballs when I'm depressed and will stay up with me when I hve papers to grade. I have to remember that more often. And those burdens are delightful- I wouldn't trade it for the world!

A colleague remarked how exciting weddings were. Yes, they are. And they make me a tad wistful as well. Not because I want to get married again or anything. But looking at a couple on their wedding day, you are hit being how young and innocent they are. How full of hopes and dreams they are. And that's when you wipe away a little tear, whisper a little prayer and send them on their way.

I guess that's what my speech will be about.




Ondine tossed this thought in at 11:19

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