Wednesday, May 25, 2005

The Week, in a nutshell

The last time I blogged was last Thursday. From then till now, I've been up to my eyeballs in stuff, much of it blog worthy but the busy-ness has inadvertently resulted in great, incoherent exhaustion. So let's try to go through the last week, hopefully more painlessly than it actually was.

Friday

My first experience being at a National Schools final. Two observations- where ever adolescents congregate in the thousands, your olfactory sense work overtime and for the wrong reasons. And these kids, they smell the same, whatever the uniform they wear. They just smell bad. Another thing, sweat of 18 year old males make you itch. I got hugged by dripping wet kids, I was happy enough to allow them to hug me, but not delirious enough to realise that it itched severly after that. Dettol was to the rescue.

Wedding dinner at night and for the first time, I think I was actually at a dinner where it meant something to both the parents of the bride and groom that they could actually afford such a big do. It was nice to see that, instead of filling tables with faceless seatwarmers, the people who were there seemed to genuinely want to be there and having a good time. The bride's grandma was my nanny and for a long time, I was more attached to her than I was to my own parents.
I felt old though, the girl I played with was getting married and the nanny that I loved so dearly didn't recognise neither me nor my brother nor my mom anymore. That's the sort of thing that really breaks your heart.

Saturday

Spent most of the day in school and proceeded to attend a 'tea-party' for my little niece and 7 little girls. They poured Ribena out of plastic, Cinderella tea cups and ate ice cream cake made by her Mom. Remarkable. I don't think I'd have the energy to organise such a party, but then again, I'm lucky because I married the world's greatest party planner- the only guy I know who actually did most of the planning for our wedding. I consider myself extremely lucky. Anyway, another observation. This came from a comment I made, post sugar-shock, food overload and all in all sensory overload. I remarked that boys didn't seem to grow up, regardless of their age. This I discovered when Dan started chatting with a 9 year old about computer games and they got on grandly. I wondered why girls grew up and boys didn't. The conclusion we came to is the childhood games we played. Girls played dress up (preparation for the long hours of shopping and the ultimate importance we would place on our clothes), masak-masak* (imitating our mothers or maids at work round the house- something we only willingly did then and never again), baby dolls (I am not explaining this one) and a whole host of other things that implied we couldn't wait to grow up. Boys on the other hand, had their toys grow up with them. Oh well.

Sunday

We met up with two pregnant friends, for lunch and dinner respectively. So, it is true that women pregnant with boys don't seem to show from the back. Our lunch mom-to-be friend is due for a boy baby and she REALLY doesn't look it from the back. Our dinner mom-to-be friend is still not obviously pregnant so I can't draw conclusions from that except pregnant women tend to cook as if everyone is pregnant. I'm still full and today's Wednesday. In between that was an appearance at the LOtR marathon.

Monday

I ws reminded that there were not one, but TWO clubhouses for the Singapore Island Country Club. This was taught to me the hard way since I was waiting for the in laws at WRONG clubhouse. No doubt, they're only about 10 minutes apart from one another, when one is already short fused, it doesn't take much for the top to blow. On top of that, I only had that 10 minutes to be pissed off and swear like a sailor because it wasn't only lunch with the in laws, it was lunch with the in laws and one entire side of the extended family, so being nice wasn't an option, it was a requirement.

Tuesday

Wow! That was yesterday. School as usual. Exhausted as usual. No wise observations for the day except that even at this point, I am still more flexible that most of my student athletes.

Wednesday

Struggled to finish my marking. Not yet done, have a headache. Spent the afternoon listening to a career diplomat and our former representative to the UN talk about Middle Eastern affairs. One we concluded was a government school product and the other a mission school and no prizes for guessing which was more inspiring. When I was in uni, I went to one such talk and I remember walking away from it wanting to join the foreign service. I remember when I had just finished fourth year and was waiting for Dan to finish his year, I came up with a "How well do you know me?" test. One of the questions was

What is my dream profession?
a) Dancer
b) A diplomat
c) A shrink that charges $380 per hour (I think I got that number from watching far too much Mad About you)
d) A Tai Tai

Everyone answered (d) and was most outraged to find out that it was actually (b). My explanation was that (b) encapsulated (d). I could throw parties, dress up real nice, get lots of perks and shop all I wanted, but didn't have to have the IQ of one of those big permed hair, shoulder padded women in gold stillettos and three-quarter capri pants.

So there. It's just shy of Thursday and I'm too exhausted to do this for another day. So I'm off to the dreams of a better tomorrow.

-Argh- Too much civil service talk today.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 19:01

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Thursday, May 19, 2005

CB Luck

CB luck is when you buy a camera phone so that you can take the weirdest of pictures whenever the moment of weirdness approaches you and when it does, you realise your camera phone won't take a picture because you're low on battery and it's trying to conserve the battery for more important things like phonecalls and SMSes. Humph.

At Watsons, there are these extremely interesting products for enhancing manhood and sexual pleasure that make for good reading and better photographs- darn again!- . There are vibrating rings that I find discriminatory against non-condom users since you can only use it over a condom. Heaven forbid the tiny tiny cell of a battery electrocute the unprotected piece of flesh as referred to on the box. Another lone product on the shelf was this big bottle called WoManZ! Including the exclamation mark. It's some sort of root extract. Instructions went along the lines of "squeeze some amount onto palm of hand. Rub hands to make hot. Gently rub on appropriate part of body. Rub up and down in motions. Rub as long as necessary to see desired results". With a picture of the most phallic looking root I've ever seen on the box. I'm sure the Chinese instructions would have been more hilarious. Reason enough to relearn Chinese.

The next time I step into Watsons, I shall make sure my phone is fully charge and ready to snap away.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 10:23

1 thoughts...

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Students with integrity.

The staff in my department are insanely stressed by the amount of work that has inundated us. We have end of term things to do and papers to grade. I have 6 piles to grade by next Wednesday and then some more that should be returned sometime before their exams next term.

So we're slightly hysterical. And on top of all that work, we have been setting exams and it finally got to us. We decided to set bogus questions and typed them up on formal paper with the school crest and exam date and time on it and left them in areas where there was high student traffic.

The bogus questions that came after a huge CONFIDENTIAL label were as follows.

1. Discuss the view that contraceptives should be used on every conceivable occasion.
2. There are only two kids of pedestrians- the quick and the dead. Do you agree?
3. "I am on a sea food diet. I see food and I eat it" Is this good advice?
4. "Macho does not prove mucho" (Zsa Zsa Gabor). Comment.
5. "Two bleeps or not two bleepsl that is the question. " How important is it to have the right ring tone for your mobile phone?
6. Would you agree that small men compensate for their size by doing things like becoming the Emperor of France?
7. Is "anything that is too stupid to be spoken", sung (Voltaire)?
8. Criminals- Can we trust them?
9. The penis mightier than the sword. How far would you agree with this?
10. How far would you agree that to get on in life today you need to be a "shining wit"?
11. The trouble with life in the fast lane is that you get to the other end in an awful hurry. Discuss.
12. Do you think it is all right to wear erotic underwear, or do you think it is just pandering to patriarchal fantasies to the point where women have internalised male values so profoundly that they even take a narcissistic pleasure in the objectification of their own bodies?

So there. And we spent the whole day on the lookout to see what would happen when students discovered the "questions". There were several scenarios. One would be they come running to us, returning it in haste and swearing on thehir grandmothers' graves that they didn't read it. Two, they would think it was really the exam paper and keep it for themselves. Three, they'd spread it around and inevitably some would take it to their tuition teachers begging them to help prepare the questions. Three, they'd go running to the principal and we'd be in for a whole lot of explaining.

Anyway, some teachers found some and were astounded at the lackidaisical, bo chap attitude we had towards the security of our exam papers and promptly told the lot of us off saying that exam papers had to be circulated in sealed envelopes that were placed faced down on one's table. Some students too, found it and very warily approached us to return it, as we expected, swearing that they hadn't seen anything. One of my more outrageous colleagues then told her sotto voce that it was for her to keep and the terror in her eyes was priceless as we watched from a respectable distance and seemingly innocuous position.

So we've ascertained a few things. The majority of our students are honest and had the fear of some god. The teachers, well most anyway, were teachers with little sense of humour and played so closely to the rules that they couldn't tell a joke even if it literally slapped them in the face.

But all in all, a fun experiment that made our day just that little bit better.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 18:35

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A Shout out of Welcome for Threez! Welcome to Blogosphere! :)

Ondine tossed this thought in at 08:31

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Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Jay Walking

There is a strict rule in my school, I'm sure actually, in every other school in Singapore , regarding jaywalking. We don't condone it. In fact, we despise it and do not allow it under most normal circumstances, baring tidal waves coming in from the sea, being chased by a pack of dogs (though in that circumstance, the dogs will chase even harder), or a swarm of angry bees.

It was raining when we came back from lunch and we were stuck on the divider with some kids. Standing there like idiots because the civil engineers and land transport people forgot to put one of those traffic buttons on the divider and both sides of the road were devoid of people. Anyhow, this kid walks out of school and crosses the road onto the divider right in front of us even though the traffic light was still green. And when we told him off, he turned around, grinned at us and proceeded to cross the other side even though we were yelling at him to stop.

A moment of dilemma. Do we just let it go since we're going to get even more wet going after him or do we chase after him because he outrightly defied us? Since it was raining and KW couldn't play tennis and I couldn't go running, we had so energy to expend and we decided to give chase.

I caught up with him first and that was quite a feat because he was walking away as fast as he could and he was in sneakers and us in heels that weren't slip resistant.

When questioned about why he openly defied us, his excuses came fast, furious and incongruous.

Excuse Number 1: I'm colour blind.
Our retort: You didn't see all of us standing in the middle of the road? You're deaf too when we told you to stop???
Excuse Number 2: I'm in a hurry
Our retort: You couldn't wait 10 seconds? Now that we've decided to be pissed off with you, you're going to waste even more time.
Excuse Number 3: There were no cars.
Our retort: Yes, but it is a traffic rule and a school rule.
Excuse Number 4: I didn't know.
Our retort: It's written in your rule book.
Excuse Number 5: It's a stupid law and my country doesn't have it.
Our retort: You're in Singapore. You follow Singapore laws.
Excuse Number 6: The umbrella block the traffic light.
Our retort: Hold your umbrella a bit higher.

It just got more and more ridiculous and by the end of it we were quite pissed off because he was openly defiant and implied we were being stupid and dumb about following laws.

I think some laws are ridiculous and I jay walk on occasion. But when it means having gormless kids follow my example, I err on the side of caution just so that they don't streak across the road on day and get hit by a car. So when kids get pissed off at you for telling them off, you just want to shake them a little bit harder and yell at them a little louder. Two days ago, some kids were punished by being made to run round the track. Some teachers were outraged, concerned that the kids may keel over and die. Some teachers celebrated the idea and came up with better ones like them having to move a mountain of sand from one end of the track to another with nothing more than a paper cup. I think it would be too dull for me to watch them move a mountain of sand, but I seriously think these kids need some sort of punishment especially when they are openly defiant.

KW is still pissed. I think she's gone off in search of the discipline master with his name and class before we actually forget it. Me? I'm just sleepy and proud of the fact that I actually caught up with him even though he had a twenty second headstart and sneakers.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 14:43

1 thoughts...

Monday, May 16, 2005

Dead Man Waiting.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 08:17

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Sunday, May 15, 2005

Mothers

You know your mother is getting old when you become the adult in the relationship and the voice of reason. Much as I love my mother, she drives me pretty insane at times. Especially when you're holding a huge pile of laundry and holding the phone to your ear with your shoulder.

She's off to Alaska and Canada with the in-laws and it will be her longest holiday since my brother had kids. To say she's thrilled and excited is an understatement. I get SMSes from her getting me to bug my mother in law about their travel itinery. It's not like they are leaving tomorrow, but she needs to know it so that she will know when to pack. The trip's two and a half weeks away, by the way.

So after a 15 minute half shouted conversation over the phone, her lack of hearing yet another sign of age, and a kinked neck with sky rocketing blood pressure, I assure her about 5 times that I will find her a windbreaker that fits, this is after hearing her think out loud to herself about where the 'blue fleece thing that is warm but worn is' and convince her that woollen gloves are as good as not wearing any.

Ah, the peace of a lazy Sunday afternoon shattered by my, all of a sudden hard of hearing, mother who is as thrilled as a school kid on her first field trip and all of a sudden, it dawns on me- how I must have annoyed the living daylights out of her in the Sundays of yore and how this must be my come uppance.

To that, Dan will issue his general ominous warning, also known as the Mother's Curse- "wait till you have kids of your own, ten fold!" Now that is a thought that will fester as I go out and pound the roads in an effort to get that blood pressure back to normal.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 18:00

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Friday, May 13, 2005

20/20 hindsight

It's amazing how things are always crystal clear when you're looking at it with the benefit of hindsight. In uni, I was upset and cried for days when I didn't get into the course I wanted but now, I'm plenty grateful that I didn't because I wouldn't have been able to go away to Melly had I got in. There're a whole lot of things that seemed to have on hindsight been the best decisions even though it may not have seemed that way when I was actually going through it.

I know that years from now, stuff that is happening now wouldn't seem as big a deal as they seem now and I guess, just knowing that offers some degree of comfort.

It is weird though, to see myself using this benefit of hindsight in the lives of other people and knowing full well that you're not going to convince them that you know what it's going to be like for them 10 years down the road if they don't make that decision now.

It comes as a shock to realise, this must be how our parents feel when they tell us not to do things and we go ahead, do it, suffer the exact consequences our parents warned us about and have our parents go "see, I told you so".

I won't even pretend to insist that this person should actually listen to what I have to say. Afterall, she does not know who I am. But I do know that the decisions she is not ready to make at this point and rightly so, will, unfortunately, come back and haunt her ten years from now. It is always hard to make decisions based on what is likely to happen in the future, purely because the future is just not here yet and it's hard to imagine the impact. But the problem is that I am the living proof of her future and I wouldn't wish it on her if it could be helped.

But she will, in all likelihood end up with the same questions and be tormented the same way that I am now, because of the decisions that she is unwilling and not ready to make at this point. Our circumstances are different, but the end reaction will be the same, possibly worse for her than for me because she had a choice at this point in time and her choice, while not being the wrong one won't be seen as the right one in 2015. And that sucks, from where I'm standing.

I can understand that she cannot wrap her head round these things now. I've just about been able to do it and heck, it's taken me this long. She is just too young and she has so much of the natural progression to get through before she is ready to actually get to that point. Thing is, time isn't on her side, so then how? She won't rush it and she shouldn't. But if she doesn't, what happens when she is finally ready to make that decision and realises that the door's been slammed shut and nailed down?

Damned if she does, damned if she doesn't.

Not an enviable position to be in and definitely not when you have perfect hindsight.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 11:52

1 thoughts...

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Midday Ramblings

I'm home in the middle of the afternoon. Not quite sure what to do with myself. I'm headed over soon to a debate invitational in a while but not quite yet. Thing is, I left school early to try and sneak lunch in with Dan before the series started. Problem was that he got called away on a meeting and there I was, driving around aimlessly. Next thing I knew, I was backing the car into a lot in my carpark. Point taken. Chill in the house till I actually need to leave for the series.

Being in limbo isn't really a bad thing seeing that Wednesdays are generally horrid days for me. Assembly is long drawn by an onslaught of announcements- we've won certain events, there're certain events going on, we've got some people here that you seem to have elected so here they are and have a look- and then concluded by the college anthem which is one verse too long, of which I'm still desperately trying to learn.

School songs seem to attempt to invoke loyalty to the school. In secondary school, it demanded courtesy and honesty everyday,forever loyal and forever true. In college, we give to you the honour you claim. And when I went out and taught, there was With grateful hearts we sing the praise of you today ... You get the picture.

The older the student gets though, the less likely he is to actually proclaim such loyalty to the school. At primary school, the kids practically try to outsing one another to be heard. I remember when I was in primary school and actually enjoyed singing and one day after assembly, a teacher turns round to me and commends me for singing so well and so clearly. On hindsight, I think she might have been sarcastic, but as a ten, eleven year old, I revelled in the fact that the teacher actually noticed me. In secondary school, you're kind of lukewarm about the whole exercise but by virtue of being in the school for 4 or 5 years, you know the song really well. And by the time they get to me, at college, they're tired of such pointless, futile rituals that are supposed to foster national and school pride. So, they mumble, some shuffle, some blatantly chat through it, some fidget as if they need to go to the toilet.

Perhaps it's that college life is 2 years and it's hard for anyone to form any sort of attachment to a college in such a short period of time. What more, if one insists that singing an anthem en masse does actually foster such belonging, doing it once a week really defeats the purpose. I left college I think knowing one line from the anthem and I did because the line was contentious to my gender. It seems like colleges that have affliation seem to be much less afflicted with this problem. That is if you actually call this a problem.

So loyalty to the school? Loyalty to the country? Someone asked me once why I didn't sing the National Anthem. I think singing it everyday, among our own is like telling your partner or spouse everyday that you love them, not because you really do but because you know that's what they want to hear whether or not you mean it. Wouldn't it be better if we did it and meant it? And to me, the only time I think I would have meant it would have been if they raised the national flag and played the national anthem because I was standing atop a podium with a gold medal round my neck or if I were President or Prime Minister, but seriously, I have no illusions or delusions of a political career in this country. I once wanted to be President of the United States but then again, only if I had the West Wing credits rolling as Hail to the Chief. And then, there would have been the slight problem with me not being an American citizen, so I guess not. Not the national anthem. No declarations of love there.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 14:18

2 thoughts...

Monday, May 09, 2005

Budding Angel

I ran two consecutive days. And this morning, my back and shoulders feels strangely fatigued. Dan thought it was because I didn't warm down enough after the run. I don't think so because you don't really run with your arms, shoulders and back. While I was trying to explain the ache to Dan and to pin point the location, I could think of no other way of doing it but to say that it felt like wings were trying to sprout from my back. And not in a good way. Or maybe that's why angels are supposed to be subdued and demure- the pain from the growing of the wings just basically sucked all the spunky life out of them.

Whatever it is, it is not good for work. Sitting still makes it ache more and I'm tempted to go home and lie down. But the mountains of scripts is intimidating to say the least. So I will endeavour to get through it.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 11:27

2 thoughts...

Friday, May 06, 2005

Expensive flights of fancy.

Looks like my holiday plans need to be put on hold. Just found out, our wonderful flight of fancy is going to cost us 3200 Aussie smackers! That's more than 4 grand in Sing dollars. Urgh!

Darn darn darn darn darn.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 11:07

0 thoughts...

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Lunch

You know it's far too hot when you buy food back to the lounge for lunch. It does defeat the purpose of actually leaving college to get lunch. But my take is at least I get to eat in air conditioning.

Lunch in the lounge is a strange situation. Teachers cluster round packs of food talking shop. Some keep to themselves and take it as a chance to not have to talk for once and just read the paper. Others flit from table to table, trying to strike up conversations, settling down in the chair resembling patio furniture at the first sign of interest from anyone willing. Then there's me, the occasional luncher who is obviously out of place amongst those talking about marking some science practical exam, those reading the chinese paper and those just milling around. I ate my fishball soup (I wasn't very hungry and according to Dan, it's my staple food group- heck, throw out carbs and just replace it with fishballs) and read about the most interesting that's happened to this little island this week, the death of the former president. It's interesting that he didn't want to be buried in the state cemetary. Primarily because, I didn't know we actually had a state cemetary. I'm guessing it's like Arlington memorial except movies haven't been made there so no one knows where it is.

Something else that struck me.

What teachers ate. I had my fishball soup. Someone else had a huge lunch tupperware full of rabbit food- carrots and cucumbers. Apparently to detox after consecutive weekends of Chinese wedding dinners. When anyone commented, she repeated the same thing about detoxing. Why is it that people admit they eat like rabbits in order to lose weight? I'm guilty of it too. When people comment on the lack of carbs in my lunch, without fail, the response is that I don't want to be too sleepy after lunch although in actual fact, I'm deathly afraid of putting on weight (albeit unsuccessfully since I did just come back from a weekend of gluttony). It's a sense of embarrassment, I suppose, when self image and what other people see is incongrous and when we refuse to concede. So the rabbit food and the low carb and goodness knows what else. At least I can safely and proudly say I dislike rabbit food and I don't think lunch for me will ever constitute carrots and cucumbers. I'm crazy, but not that crazy.

Anyhow, lunch is over and there is the afternoon lull round here. It's quiet and good for work if you're in the mood for it. Me, I'm so terribly sleepy, it's not going to take much for me to doze off. But I want to go running- yet another indication of the crazy syndrome that I am afflicted with. But it threatens to rain, with thunder and all and sundry, so that might be a problem as well. Oh well, if that fails, I'll stay in and eat yummy ice cream that is in the freezer. Black sesame, brandied fig, butterscotch pecan, coffee (unlikely) or just plain chocolate? Choices choices.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 13:44

3 thoughts...

Sunday, May 01, 2005

Ondine, in South Park. It's as close as I could get to creating a South Park sprite. :)

Ondine tossed this thought in at 18:30

0 thoughts...

Shop Till you drop

We left the hotel this morning and shopped and it's 6 and we just got in, with an hour in between for a lunch that was plenty reminiscent of the Hong Kong restaurants in Melly. We had roast duck, roast pork, char siew, salt grilled chicken with noodles/rice and drinks all round with char siew paos in a cramp noisy, not exactly clean restaurant. Brilliant. All for the low price of 80 ringgit for the 4 of us.

And then it was shopping. Shoes, tops, factory outlet shopping is the best. And then, do it in ringgit so everything is actually half the cost and we've got an even sweeter deal. I'm a clothes snob. I'll only pick up stuff with Gap or Abercrombie tags on it. I know, they're all made in Asia in sweat shops but I'm a sucker for the evil American consumerism.

We're waiting to go for dinner now. It's been, eating, shopping, eating, playing cards, sleeping...what a holiday. B and CY want to do it again on Vesak Day but I'm thinking, there'll be marking and there'll be too much weight to lose if that were the case.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 18:17

0 thoughts...

Stall Hopping

Dinner last night was a many splendid thing. We started off with wan tan noodles with chicken wings and sting ray. That was accompanied with 2 glasses of drink each (sour plum and lime is yummy, especially when you're sitting by the road side in great levels of humidity). Following that, to satisfy the durain hankering we had durians after. 2 durians from a stall, and a desire to see if the next stall had better got us taking 5 steps down to another table, another stall and some more, but this time, horribly substandard durians. The saving grace, some Mangosteen as well. B decided to protect his system from the great abuses that we were infliciting on our bodies by buying a cup of herbal tea which I suspect, would ward off all "heatiness" or really just exacerbate the situation and have him eating porridge the rest of today.

Dinner actually should have ended there but didn't. While I went in search of Iced Lemon Tea at KFC, the two boys were toying with buying a BARREL of chicken from KFC (that's bigger than a bucket by the way). Thank goodness their good sense and many evil stares from us, the significant others, they decided against it and settled for cake from Secret Recipe. The Chocolate Banana cake is quite awesome and so was the chocolate mud cake which sank right to the bottom of currently bottomless pits that are our tummies.

I would like to say that dinner did indeed end there, but it didn't. We had a bacio gelato cone after that, some alcoholic sodas and a big bag of potato chips to round off the night.

All that was after a heavy steamboat lunch yesterday and we've started the eating this morning with the hotel breakfast. Right now, we're trying to figure out lunch and dinner will once again be a many stall event. :)

Ondine tossed this thought in at 10:40

0 thoughts...

ME

Ondine is taking a break from moulding young minds to mould the young minds of her two little munchlets. When she has time and energy, she blogs. Shopping and running have taken a back seat but tv is still a must. Seemingly neurotic and occasionally angsty. She has moved on to be a Warhammer widow and despises the game with every fibre in her body. Fantasises about setting the EA headquarters on fire. But usually mild-mannered and does not usually blog about serious things. Prefers to see the absurdity in what is around.

Contact ME

ondineng [at] gmail.com

Just Tossed Out

• Ultimate Post... for now
• Seeking lost love
• THe stupidest thing I've heard
• Behind Door Number 2
• Sacrifice
• 11 years
• Too much TV
• To the rescue
• Men cook in Mars
• Supermodel Christmas

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Thoughts of Others

• Our new Diaperbag
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• The Others Whose Lives I Peruse

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