Thursday, April 08, 2004


Message to my brother: Can't believe that 4 years of psychology in university wouldn't exempt me from a basic counselling course run by a kook!

Message from my brother: We're surrounded by morons

So there.

Examples of great moronityfrom the course yesterday.

Problem: I like a girl but this girl likes another guy and the guy is leading her on.
Kook's solution: Why don't you buy yourself a box of crayons to express your frustration. And if that's not enough, why don't you write a diary.
Analysis: We're not 6!!!

Problem: I keep sticking my finger down my throat to throw up because I don't like the way I look.
Teacher's advice: Do you think it's going to solve your problem long term? Tell me what in your opinion are the pros and cons of throwing up.
Kook's analysis: NO! You must make sure that the student knows that throwing up is wrong! You must stop him/her from vomitting!

Problem: We have too few babies in Singapore
Kook's solution: Advise all these teenage girls who go for abortions to carry through their pregnancy. Last year, Singapore had 36000 births and about 15000 abortions. So if we can convert all the abortions to births, we would have solved the baby problem.
Analysis: Even the government would kick his ass on that one!And he thinks these unwed teen mothers to bring up their kids to be the scholars that the government wants?

Problem: Student refuses any counselling help school provides and is on academic probabtion pending march common tests. Possible candidate for withdrawl.
Teacher's response: We've explored every means of helping her and at the end of the day, if she doesn't want to be helped, we just need to let her go and let her face her own consequences.
Kook's advice: NO! You must keep on trying to help her and not let her fall through the net. What happens when she goes out into the world so unprepared? You must try all means to keep her in school.
Analysis: If the damn kid doesn't want to stay in school, why should we force her? We're not in the business of imprisioning kids nor are we a holding pattern.

Problem: This girl might fall into bad company and become a lounge hostess
Teacher's response: Unlikely. She might join a gang but WILL NOT become a lounge hostess
Kook's uncomprehending question: But why? They're all in the danger of becoming lounge hostess.
Exasperated Teacher's response: Cos she likes GIRLS!
Kook's egg headed response: But what does that mean?
Even more Exasperated Teacher's response: SHE LIKES GIRLS! She's not likely to become a lounge hostess!
Kook's amazingly stupid response: But what does that mean exactly? Does that mean she's lesbian?
Pissed off Teacher: YES! And she's BUTCH so she's not going to dress up and sit on some Chinese business man's lap!
Kook's irrelevant response: Lesbianism is very common today in schools!


So yesterday was the international day of morons and I spent 9 hours cloistered up in a room with this moronic ding bat who proceeded to argue with me about how eating disorders definitely have roots in parental rejection. The judgementalness that he displayed and the absolute solutions he had to problems is probably why so many people are becoming suicidal.

And that's why I spent the better half of last night in a foul mood last night.

Other examples of moronity ( I know this isn't a word) from yesterday entail me ringing up the university to ask if I could still sign up for a masters course to bide my time while I wait till I can go to Melbourne. I'm not about to let my brain dribble out of my ears.

Me: Hi, would there be any chance of me still signing up for the MA in Applied Linguisitcs?
Very Rude Administrator (VRA): NO! It closed two weeks ago.
Me: I'm aware of that, but because I was away for the entire month of Feb, I was wondering if I could submit a late entry ( I embellished slightly here)
VRA: No, close means close. Anyway, it's very hard to get in.
Me: Ok. Would I then be able to sign up for the MA in Language Studies in Jan and then transfer to the other in July since the modules offered are identitcal?
VRA: No, cannot. Our selection panel is very stringent.
Me: Even if these courses are the same and I qualify for them both.
VRA: Selection panel is very stringent, plus you must have honours you know? And a Dip Ed from NIE (National Institute of Education)
Me: I have a Dip Ed from NIE and I have first class honours.
VRA: Still cannot. Our selection panel is very strict you know.
Me: Thank you. Bye bye you tunnelled vision, anal retentive, power hungry bat!

So you can't blame me for being in a foul mood yesterday. Today should be better. I'm off to Sentosa (an island off Singapore with tacky crass tourist attractions) to babysit kids playing the Amazing Race.

Ondine tossed this thought in at 15:38

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